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Song Parodies -> "Chlorine Burns My Eyes"

Original Song Title:

"Story Of My Life"

Original Performer:

One Direction

Parody Song Title:

"Chlorine Burns My Eyes"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Do What You Wanna Do" self-challenge. It's currently melty season in Australia, so why don't I do what most everyone else does and tool around in the pool? Here's a reason. Enjoy!
Never really been one for swimming, just let me explain
Multiple factors and on my last nerve, all of 'em grate
Like no matter the weather, getting out of the pool chills straight to the bone
And the slipping hazard, I don't wanna crack my skull on the sto-o-one

But the main one, one that bites
More than the rest in my opinion, guy
To you this reason may seem rather trite
But it sure ain't to me

The chlorine burns my eyes, that much I know
The pain is high, it hurts like ba-alls, no lie-ie-ie
Ain't jo-o-o-o-o-oki-i-in' (it really hurts, it friggin' hurts)
Mix chlorine and my eyes, I'll say "oh no"
Or rather somethin' vulgar, wo-on't deny-y-y
Damn chlorine burns my-y eye-eye-eyes (it really hurts, it friggin' hurts)

"Why don't you wear goggles, man?" is what I hear you say
Don't like the constant adjustments I have to make
The water leaks in anyhow, so there's no point of keepin' them on still
Always gettin' broken, wastes my cash at the till

I won't be warm, warm tonight
Got my air conditioner blastin' ice
Not riskin' water splashin' in my eye-eye-eyes
Avoidin' that chlorine

Had chlorine in my eyes, sweet Lord, it burnt
I spent all night, rinsin' eyeb-alls, no lie-ie-ie
It's bo-o-o-o-o-ogu-u-us (it really hurts, it friggin' hurts)
No chlorine in my eyes, that much I hope
Freak if so much as a drop po-okes them, gu-u-uys
Damn chlorine burns my-y eye-eye-eyes (it really hurts, it friggin' hurts)

So whether it's in my own poo-ool or one in town
There's nothin' you can do to ma-ake me wan to splash arou-ound

The chlorine burns my eyes, won't risk that, no
And I have tried to keep it ou-out my eye-eye-eyes
Ain't wo-o-o-o-o-orki-i-in'
Once chlorine's in my eyes, down my day goes (way down it go-oes)
It really sucks, the record's bro-oken, gu-u-u-u-uy
Said chlorine burns my-y eye-eye-eyes (it really hurts, it friggin' hurts)

Damn chlorine burns my eye-eye-eye-eye-eye-eyes
It really hurts my eye-eye-eye-eye-eye-eyes (it really hurts, it friggin' hurts)
Hate chlorine in my-y-y eyes

Man, last time I parodied One Direction, I was really friggin' harsh. What do I think of their current output? Okay, I guess. Surprised that this one was the big hit and not the more catchy Best Song Ever. At least that one made it into a Weird Al polka, so points there.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   2
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John Lomain - January 05, 2015 - Report this comment
This was funny

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