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Song Parodies -> "I Want My Joe Black"

Original Song Title:

"I Want My Tears Back"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"I Want My Joe Black"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here.
I want my joe black!

The get up, the morning, the warm bed calleth-outside's grey
No trousers, the mirror, I stumble-I'm losing my sheet

I'm warming its water, the heat should up where I need gloves
Black coffee, I clamour, home brew to get into the swing

Knocked by the flavour, hit the floor
Knocked out my callous, hit me, hit me more
What I opt for, but I'm prepared
Know this beanjuice shatter normal men's due care

Knocked by a sample, hit the door
Knocked out the sleep of me, so pour me some more
Before my job gets me
I need to get up off my knees

I want my joe black!
I need my joe black now!

The maker's on the stove, a burning tongue I bemoan
A roll call, for brain cells, I long for a barista

Knocked by the hotness, hit the wall
Knocked out my coolness, hear me, hear my wrawl
What I opt for, I come prepared
Know this beanjuice brings a normal man's Lord's Prayer

Knocked by the fragrance, hit the nose
Knocked out the snot of me, to superimpose
Before my job gets me
I need some black recovery

Knocked by the relish, hit the roof
Knocked out my dentures, gee, I swallowed the proof
And soon my job gets me
I can't get there on Earl Grey tea

I want my joe black!
I need my joe black now!


Knocked by the habit, hit the lights
Knocked out the night of me with coffee that bites
Before my job gets me
I need to throw back black you see

Live through the ritual, hit the road
Laugh at Espresso Light, I'm no longer noob
Before my job gets me
I need a cup, nah make that three!

I need my joe black!
I want my joe black now!

© Peter Andersson.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - August 10, 2015 - Report this comment
This reminds me of a Garfield comic where Jon and Garfield are drinking really strong coffee and their facial expressions are so insane because the coffee is so strong. Always a good source for humor! This parody pairs well with my morning cuppa joe. Btw, The security code is Mmk... Mr. Mackey anybody? Mmkay?
Max Power - August 25, 2015 - Report this comment
Always make sure to make a strong concentration, that way you will get a good coffee.
Agrimorfee - August 25, 2015 - Report this comment
Weird word choices abound here...was that a conscience decision to write as if this band (for whom I am guessing English is a second language) REALLY wrote this? The oddness was charming, wouldn't have worked if it had been some other song or some other writer.
Abbott Skelding - August 25, 2015 - Report this comment
Never been a coffee drinker...don't like the taste or even the smell. So while I'll never know the taste of a "strong" cup of coffee, I can appreciate the humor of this spoof. I agree with Grim that some of the word choices/rhymes seemed a little forced to match the original, but other than that...pretty solid work.
bobpiecheese - August 25, 2015 - Report this comment
(Artistry) The odd phrasing did strike me as weird, but it certainly suits the OS to have a more flowery phrasing to it, if that makes sense. Great parody here, I bow down to your superior coffee game (I'm sure in coffee circles I'd be a pansy because I stick to instant coffee). 555!
Blaydeman - August 26, 2015 - Report this comment
I agree about the word choices seeming very forced, but it gets hidden well by the style of the original band. I also don't drink coffee, but I get it and it is funny.
Peter Andersson - August 26, 2015 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comments guys - interresting feedback! Yes, the odd words and phrases were used both to pace as good as possible AND an attempt to be in tune with what lyrics in this subgenre of metal often are like in many OSs. I spent probably an extra hour or maybe even two wrestling my final choices and particularly with the OS line that ends with "grandfatherly love" - not a phrase you'd expect to find in a Motley Crew or Disturbed or Motorhead song - but nothing out of the ordinary at all for this kind of Symphonic Metal.

Assuming now that Matthias and myself are the only ones who listens or listened to stuff like this with any kind of regularity I think I should have adressed that in the intro. Anyway, I had fun writing this one and now you guys have tought me something about presentation - Cheers!

*Lifts up cup of you-know-what to the screen* :-)

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