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Song Parodies -> "Vince Lombardi vs. Bill Belichick"

Original Song Title:

"Epic Rap Battles of History"

Original Performer:

Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd

Parody Song Title:

"Vince Lombardi vs. Bill Belichick"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Epic Rap Battles of History!

Vince Lombardi!


Bill Belichick!



Beli-check me out!
I'm a football genius
with the greatest quarterback
and the defense that's the meanest!
This M-C's the H-C
of the N-E-P
and I just made a little more
Call me the real Slim Shady
'cause I got Tom Brady
who's the model of a Q-B
with a foxy lady!
Your quarterback was named Starr
but that passer's passe.
Your Packers would never make it
in the NFL today!

What the hell's
goin' on out here?
You gotta find a new way
to cheat every year!
Winning isn't everything
but cheating is the worst.
When you win your next one honestly
that'll be the first!
Maybe this'll jog your memory
and ring some bells:
You ain't won without cheatin'
without Bill Parcells!
I won with hard work.
I'm victorious, not notorious.
You killed your reputation
like you were Oscar Pistorius!

When you were my age
you were fifteen years dead.
So keep it under your hat
like the hole in your head!
I ain't afraid of Willie Davis
or even Ray Nitschke.
I'm a Croatian sensation.
You're a short Italian who's bitchy.
I made the Giants' defense
really come alive.
Those rings make six
while you only got five!
(Imagine he shows Lombardi a fist
with a ring on every finger on that hand
while he puts the sixth ring on the middle finger
of his other hand.)
I won the Super Bowl
yet again, it's true!
Got the trophy with your name on it.
That means I own you!

You forget: I assisted
on a Giants' title, too.
I got my six rings
in a harder era than you!
I coached Gifford and Hornung
and ESPN says
the biggest name you've coached
is Aaron Hernandez!
There's a reason that trophy
is named after me:
'Cause I'm the man every coach
is trying to be!
The most admired man in the history
of the NFL!
While you shot your hoodied legacy
straight to hell!

Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!


Push 'em back, push 'em back, wayyyy back!

Rap Battles of History!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
 2   1
 3   1
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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John Jenkins - February 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Vince Lombardi is the winner of this epic battle and MP gets kudos for rhyming Hernandez and notorious.
Michael Pacholek - February 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Actually, I rhymed victorious, notorious and Pistorius... and says and Hernandez. But, yeah, thanks. I knew putting this one in here might not please our Massachusetts-born-and-raised leader, but if Lombardi taught us anything, it's to face our fears and strive for excellence anyway.
ChuckyG - February 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Everyone's entitled to their opinion no matter how foolish it makes them look. By the way, how many NY football teams made the playoffs this year?
John Jenkins - February 04, 2015 - Report this comment
Good point, ChuckyG. But how are those Celtics doing this year?

MP, I attempted to commend you for your rhyming combinations; but, in looking at the comment, it does appear otherwise.
TJC - February 06, 2015 - Report this comment
Always cleverly crafted, entertaining and, well... epic!
John Lomain - February 08, 2015 - Report this comment
I mostly know of Lombardi from the trophy but I thought this was quite good
Max Power - February 09, 2015 - Report this comment
Just want to know if you're going to do one for Brady and Montana? The comparisons have been popping up lately.

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