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Song Parodies -> "James Dean vs. Spider-Man"

Original Song Title:

"Epic Rap Battles of History"

Original Performer:

Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd

Parody Song Title:

"James Dean vs. Spider-Man"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Epic Rap Battles of History!

James Dean!




I don’t need to sling webs
to be an easy rider
‘cause I crush these beats
and I’ve already wrecked a Spyder!
I’m the all-time angsty
pop-culture teenager.
You’re just waiting for Iron Man
to call you on your pager!
I do chickie runs in L.A.
and find oil in Dallas
While you’ve been replaced
by Miles Morales!
You’ve never backed up great power
with great responsibility.
Your entire life
is an exercise in futility!

Look who’s talking, Jimbo:
You lost your head!
The first thing anyone knows
about you is, you’re dead!
You’d be dead by now, anyway
or at least decrepit.
Even in your old Ford
you just can’t schlep it!
I’m gonna leave you
bruised and bleedin’
when I use my spider-strength
to knock you east of Eden!
You think you’re a good actor?
You’re as stiff as wood!
Anyone watching you
won’t feel so good!

For the way you treated Mary Jane
there’s no way to atone.
Besides, compared to me
you’re a total clone!
I’m gonna leave you
limpin’ an’ hobblin’.
You’ll wish you were fightin’
Doc Ock or Green Goblin!
I don’t mean for
this to upset you
but I don’t need Doctor Strange
to make people forget you!
Compared to me
you’ll always be a chump, you see?
You shoulda stayed silent
like on “The Electric Company!”

Who you callin’ “clone”?
You’re a copy of Brando
And I hear you two were together
goin’ commando!
You co-starred with Natalie
but you like a different Wood:
You were right in “Rebel
Without a Cause”: You’re no good!
Beating you
was a piece of cake:
Stepping to me
was a Giant mistake!
So keep this thought
inside your Hoosier Dome:
From battling me
there’s no way home!

Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!


(Spidey's theme plays)

Rap Battles of History!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.3
How Funny: 2.3
Overall Rating: 2.3

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   13
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

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