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Song Parodies -> "Oswald Cobblepot vs. Sidney Crosby"

Original Song Title:

"Epic Rap Battles of History"

Original Performer:

Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd

Parody Song Title:

"Oswald Cobblepot vs. Sidney Crosby"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

The real ERB guys just did the Joker vs. Pennywise. So how about Penguin vs. Penguin?
Epic Rap Battles of History!

Oswald Cobblepot!

vs….

Sidney Crosby!

Begin!

(Penguin)
Welcome to Gotham!
I’ll skin you alive!
I’m a flightless bird
but you always take a dive!
I’ll leave you bleedin’
bruisin’ and sobbin’.
Bettman can’t save you
even if the refs do your robbin’!
You play in Pittsburgh
but I’m a master stealer.
After I’m through with you
you’ll be a master squealer!
Let’s see what some Penguin Gas
can do to you!
I don’t need this monocle
‘cause anyone can see through you!

(Crosby)
I’m a Pittsburgh Penguin
a 3-time Stanley Cup winner.
Call me Colonel Sanders:
I’m roasting this bird for dinner!
You can’t beat Batman.
You’re second to the Joker.
You’re a chunky waddler
like the young Al Roker!
Your umbrella crimes
will never vex me
and you’ve got a bigger nose
than even Wayne Gretzky!
From Meredith to Taylor
you’ve brought viewer indignation.
You were rejected as Mayor.
I inspired a whole nation!

(Penguin)
A whole nation? You’re trippin’.
You inspire pity!
Canada’s got fewer people
than Gotham City!
I’m the Gentleman of Crime.
Bigger than yours are my scores!
Your skills are empty
like I leave a jewelry store!
I’m a snappy dresser
with a cigarette holder!
I’m smoking your ass
and giving you the cold shoulder!
There’s no way you can survive
this Penguin’s attack!
Your hockey and rapping styles are both
Wack! Wack! Wack!

(Crosby)
I won the Hart and Ross Trophies.
Isn’t that neato?
I don’t need Catwoman’s help
to beat you, DeVito!
I’m the NHL’s
biggest star
while you look like a gay version
of FDR!
I’ve set a new standard.
I’m the NHL’s baseline.
I’ve got 87 on my back.
You’ve got it as your waistline!
I’m an Olympic Gold Medalist.
You’re a merchant of sleaze.
I’ve owned you and the ice.
Maybe I should battle Mr. Freeze!

Who won?
Who’s next?
You decide!

Epic…

(Wack! Wack! Wack!... Doesn’t necessarily mean Cobblepot won)

Rap Battles of History!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.7
How Funny: 2.7
Overall Rating: 2.7

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   3
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