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Song Parodies -> "Arya Stark vs. Xena"

Original Song Title:

"Epic Rap Battles of History"

Original Performer:

Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd

Parody Song Title:

"Arya Stark vs. Xena"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

I originally wanted to have Xena vs. Ziva -- David of "NCIS" -- but it turns out her story is not yet concluded, while Arya's is, unless we one day get "Game of Thrones: The Next Generation."
Epic Rap Battles of History!

Arya Stark!

vs….

Xena!

Begin!

(Xena)
You give me any lip
and I’ll give you a fat one.
All those faces you got
and you chose THAT one?
Like Dany to King’s Landing
I’ll roast you, you nerd.
Everybody knows that
Greece is the word!
You’d better hit that boat
and sail off on your Stark Trek
‘cause I’ll leave you like Gilligan:
Totally shipwrecked!
Like a Winterfell dungeon rat
I’ll leave you squirmin’.
I’m a Kiwi goddess.
You’re more like Pee-Wee Herman!

(Arya)
To a Warrior Princess
what do I say?
What I tell the God of Death:
“Not today!”
I look fly in furs
wrapped nice and snugly.
I killed the Night King
and you’re twice as ugly!
You threw that chakram
but flipped your lid.
Seducing warlords
but what happened to your kids?
I’ll feed you a pie
after I “Godfather” your horse!
Even my show’s last season
made more sense than yours!

(Xena)
You think you can beat me?
Too soon you’ve spoken.
Like your brother Bran
I’m going to leave you broken!
You call that a sword?
Your Needle’s just a stick, chick!
Compared to fighting me, the Red Wedding
will look like a picnic!
I’m a killer of gods
and a rescuer of the oppressed.
My courage changed the world.
You’re just a half-pint pest!
I’ll conquer the North
and send you straight to Seventh Hell!
The only teenage girl I trust
is Gabrielle!

(Arya)
Oh, isn’t that Suite.
Or maybe it’s Bitter.
You’re both totally forgotten
outside of #LesbianTwitter!
What’s west of Westeros?
I hope it’s not Greece.
Even Gendry was more
of a man than Hercules!
Your career’s so campy.
It’s a Galactic joke.
You created Evil Dead.
I killed millions with one stroke!
You’re Lawless, I’m flawless.
You shouldn’t have stepped to me.
I’ve left you bleeding out
like modern Greece’s economy!

Who won?
Who’s next?
You decide!

Epic…

(Xena’s yell – doesn’t necessarily mean she won)

Rap Battles of History!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.5
How Funny: 2.5
Overall Rating: 2.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 5
 5
 
 2   0
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 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 0
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 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

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Patrick - November 26, 2019 - Report this comment
I vaguely remember Xena, Warrior Princess. Game of Thrones was a cable show, and beyond my financial means. I just saw a comment the other day in a right wing blog site that said if you had shown the opening episode of Game of Thrones in a theater in the 1930's, the crowd would have run for the door, vomiting, then returned with pitchforks and torches. That I have to see someday.
Patrick - November 26, 2019 - Report this comment
I vaguely remember Xena, Warrior Princess. Game of Thrones was a cable show, and beyond my financial means. I just saw a comment the other day in a right wing blog site that said if you had shown the opening episode of Game of Thrones in a theater in the 1930's, the crowd would have run for the door, vomiting, then returned with pitchforks and torches. That I have to see someday.

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