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Song Parodies -> "Fred Astaire vs. John Travolta"

Original Song Title:

"Epic Rap Battles of History"

Original Performer:

Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd

Parody Song Title:

"Fred Astaire vs. John Travolta"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Both men went bald -- George Carlin famously put "Fred Astaire has no hair" in his rhyming routine about hair -- so that's out as a subject. But let's see who can win an Epic Rap-and-Dance Battle of History.
Epic Rap Battles of History!

Fred Astaire!


John Travolta!


Wassup, man?
This is really weird.
But you can't use Ginger
Rogers as your "beard"!
I got the movie soundtrack
with half a dozen hits
that I use to spits
all over Freddy Austerlitz!
I'm the baddest dancer
Hollywood's ever seen
while you can't even add
color to the screen!
You can't win this Face/Off.
It's a Civil Action
that'll leave you and your white
tie and tails in traction!

Well, look who's talking:
It's the dumb T-bird.
But everybody's heard
that this Grease is the turd!
You're gonna need a miracle
'cause here comes the boom:
I'm killin' you like Bruce Willis
did in his bathroom!
I may have been in
The Towering Inferno
but in that Brooklyn disco
you flamed like a sterno!
I danced with Judy on Easter
but the only parade
you should be in is the one
in which Pride is displayed!

But my movies make money.
That's the way it goes.
So up your nose
with a rubber hose!
I've played an angel and John Gotti
and everything in between, Mister
while you got your start
getting romantic with your sister!
I'll break your arrow
take you down, one, two, three
'cause your old-school dance moves
can never touch me!
I got you, Shorty
gave you a good rocking.
Ditch the top hat
and put on some silk stockings!

Wow. And they called me
the Gay Divorcee.
This Urban Cowboy
might just float away!
I danced with Rita Hayworth
and Cyd Charisse.
You had Uma Thurman
but could never get that piece!
You're getting hustled, Manero
and blasted, Terl.
Your "Battlefield Earth"
made everybody hurl!
I've beaten you so badly
I've reduced you to rubble.
Maybe you should have stayed
inside your plastic bubble!

Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!


(tapdancing sound)

Rap Battles of History!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rob Arndt - November 21, 2016 - Report this comment
Hey MP, would you happen to know what the latest ERBOH is? I get mine through Music Choice on Xfinity or can use YouTube. I just don't know which are the newer ones. Anyway, 555!
Michael Pacholek - November 21, 2016 - Report this comment
The latest one is Ash Ketchum vs. Charles Darwin. Apparently, "evolution" was the theme.
John Lomain - November 21, 2016 - Report this comment
Still DKTOS but this was a fun read
Patrick - November 21, 2016 - Report this comment
Lots of great references. Fred Astaire in black and white. Rumors of John Travolta "gay". "Broken Arrow", the boy in the bubble, and the we wish we could forget "Battlefield Earth". And the line "Up your nose with a rubber hose". I looked up your series of battles. Ever thought of "Rocky vs Rambo" or "Titanic vs Edmund Fitzgerald".
Michael Pacholek - November 22, 2016 - Report this comment
Patrick, I've already done Rocky Balboa vs. Roy Hobbs. But Titanic vs. Edmund Fitzgerald would be in really poor taste.
Patrick - November 22, 2016 - Report this comment
I'm beginning to think most of my "If ---- Wrote TWOTEF" parodies might be in poor taste. Still, I might have done "Titanic" vs "EF" if I knew how to do rap. That's a skill I don't have. I'll leave that to your expertise and your better judgement of contestants.
Rob Arndt - November 22, 2016 - Report this comment
Michael, could you do Max Schmeling vs Mike Tyson? Now, THAT would be damn interesting! Btw, although ideologically as different as night and day, we both like ERBOH!
jeb bush - December 18, 2016 - Report this comment
tap vs disco

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