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Song Parodies -> "Alec Baldwin vs. Gene Rayburn"

Original Song Title:

"Epic Rap Battles of History"

Original Performer:

Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd

Parody Song Title:

"Alec Baldwin vs. Gene Rayburn"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

The season finale of the new "Match Game" has aired on ABC, and, well, let's just say Sarah Palin being a guest panelist was NOT the most uncomfortable thing about it! But, rather than turn over in his grave, original host Gene Rayburn has decided to take matters (and the legendary long thin microphone) into his own hands!
Epic Rap Battles of History!

Alec Baldwin!

vs….

Gene Rayburn!

Begin!

(Alec)
Oh, brother!
I'm the host
of the TV game show
that's got the most
fabulous panelists
and ridiculous questions
that'll give your ears
a humor infection!
My set isn't orange.
I don't wear a vest.
That's why my "Match Game"
is the very best!
And we imbibe openly
and speak the curses we think.
While your show drove more
than Brett Somers to drink!

(Gene)
Dumb Donald
is SO dumb!

(Audience)
How dumb IS he?

(Gene)
Smarter than Alec, the bum!
Did you hear
the phone message to his daughter?
For that, in this rap battle
he’s gonna get slaughtered!
I’m gonna take this long thin mike
and use it to beat ya!
You’re the dumbest brother
in your whole Massapequa!
Your acting stank!
And your show’s gonna tank!
You can’t match me!
So kiss my (Blank!)

(Alec)
My guests can be
who they are, any day.
Charles Nelson Reilly could only
drop hints he was gay!
What was with those giant
glasses on Brett?
And what LSD addict
designed your set?
You had the dumbest panelists
anyone could want:
Bill Daily, Patti Deutsch
and Joyce Bulifant!
Your raps are terrible.
There's just no space for 'em
like your "okay in the '70s" jokes
and your casual racism!

(Gene)
Okay, some of my jokes
don't work in 2016.
But I never called my daughter
a pig on her answering machine!
Yeah, I had some panelists
whose minds were really sailin’.
but your version of my show
has that idiot Sarah Palin!
Your reboot
is a rotten answer!
I've had more fun in screenings
for colon cancer!
Let's get the word from the
official scorer:
I've 30 Rocked this
Amityville Horror!

(Ding ding ding ding -- suggesting that Gene is right)

Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!

Epic...

("Match Game" theme)

Rap Battles of history!
I wasn't able to get in any references to Richard Dawson, Betty White, Nipsey Russell or Fannie Flagg -- or to Fannie being much better at hiding being gay in the 1970s than Charles, who seemed to do everything BUT come right out and say it. Or to the two perennial default answers on the old version: "Boobs" and "Howard Cosell." Hopefully, this parody isn't a "rotten answer" -- or, as Debralee Scott would have said, a "booable answer."

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   1
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User Comments

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Patrick - September 21, 2016 - Report this comment
I remember the old "Match Game". Nipsey Russell always impressed my with his ability to improvise poetry. You're right, the answer was always "boobs". Never saw the Alec Baldwin version. A lot of the fun of the old game was implying things that were not allowed to be said. Letting it all hang out takes away from that more innocent pleasure. Keep up the raps.
Epic Rap Battles Fan - September 23, 2016 - Report this comment
Keep 'em coming! I'd like to see you do Bill & Ted vs. Wayne and Garth. (According to Wikipedia, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure was released on February 17, 1989, while Wayne's World first showed up on SNL on February 18, 1989. Coincidence or synchronicity?)
Patrick - September 28, 2016 - Report this comment
Rocky vs Rambo.

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