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Song Parodies -> "Q vs. V"

Original Song Title:

"Epic Rap Battles of History"

Original Performer:

Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd

Parody Song Title:

"Q vs. V"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Q: John de Lancie's all-powerful (not really) being on "Star Trek: The Next Generation." V: Hugo Weaving's anarcho-terrorist in "V for Vendetta" -- this version is definitely based on the film, not the graphic novel. In an actual fight, it would be no contest, unless Q got stripped of his powers again. If THAT happened, then even Q from the James Bond films could beat him. (I also swiped a line from the original ERBOH "Master Chief vs. Leonidas.")
Epic Rap Battles of History!

Q!

vs....

V!

Begin!

(Q)
Oh, the humanity.
Such a pathetic life.
What, are you going to
come after me with a knife?
I'm a Q.
I'm completely omnipotent.
I could render you
completely nonexistent.
I hear you like Shakespeare
use his words to come hard.
Please, I got bored with him
when I dealt with Picard.
I can bend any rule
of time and space
while you're too much of a bitch
to even show me your face.

(V)
Voila!
You venal vermin.
Like Guinan
I'm going to leave you squirmin'!
I dare do all that may become a man.
You are none.
You'll be blown up
like Parliament when I'm done!
I'll puncture your heart
and slice off your pecker.
This time, you won't
get saved by Arnie Becker!
You fancy yourself
a hanging judge
but I'll leave you drowned
in the River Thames' sludge!

(Q)
My eyes, they hurt
from all this rolling
at your pathetic human
alternate 21st Century trolling.
I nailed Jennifer Hetrick
and Suzie Plakson for sport, man
while you chose to torture
Natalie Portman!
I stand astride the eons.
I'm someone everyone knew
while no one is going to
remember, remember you.
This battle is over.
You've been annihilated.
Even the Borg don't want
to have you assimilated.

(V)
Your style is lame.
It leaves me feeling sleepy.
Not even Mr. Creedy
was quite so creepy.
You traveled through space
but your rhymes don't fly.
You're not worth
a penny to this Guy!
Nobody likes you
not even the other Q
while a million people
watched Westminster as it blew!
Picard and Shakespeare were right:
What a piece of work is a man.
Including myself
who just kicked your can.

Who won?
Who's next?
You decide?

Epic...

(V's knife slices through the ERBOH logo)

Rap Battles of History!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.2
How Funny: 2.4
Overall Rating: 2.4

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   5
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User Comments

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Patrick - July 30, 2015 - Report this comment
I recall the movie version of "V for Vendetta". A good example of what Ayn Rand would call "an effectual man". No different from the rest of us, except he chose to act on his beliefs and did so consistently and with skill. An immortal hero or villain is much less interesting since one is helpless from the start in imitating or defeating him. It's why "Jericho" was so much better than "Fallen Sky". I am truly tired of invincible space aliens. This has been the rap battle with the shortest opponents names.
Michael Pacholek - July 30, 2015 - Report this comment
Except Ayn Rand would have been on the side of Norsefire. V is more of a Nietzschean "ubermensch" -- and that's not ironic, since Nietzsche hated anti-Semites, and probably wouldn't have had much use for any totalitarians.
LOL! - July 30, 2015 - Report this comment
The Lawnmower Man could take Q out!!!

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