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Song Parodies -> "Maxwell Smart vs. Austin Powers"

Original Song Title:

"Epic Rap Battles of History"

Original Performer:

Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd

Parody Song Title:

"Maxwell Smart vs. Austin Powers"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Who's the greatest spy spoofer of all time? I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you. Disclaimer: I borrowed a line from the originals' "Frank Sinatra vs. Freddie Mercury."
Epic Rap Battles of History!

Maxwell Smart!


Austin Powers!


This is the second-biggest rap battle
I've ever seen.
I'll have you running for your "mum"
or maybe the Queen!
What's wrong with your teeth?
They make your face look a fright.
If Dr. Evil gets you
there'll be no dust left to bite!
I'm a crack shot with a gun
while you need glasses
to hit your targets
and save the masses!
My Sunbeam Tiger
beats your Jaguar E.
I'm a cooler secret agent
than you could ever be!

Oh, behave
you septic Yank.
Your style smells sour.
It's positively rank!
I've been knighted by the Queen
while wearing Union Jack briefs
while you've always got to say,
"Sorry about that, Chief!"
You got 99 problems
and your bird is one
'cause she swung over to me
to have some fun!
You're Agent 86?
Is that your I.Q.?
I've seen Inspector Clouseau
spy better than you!

You think you're hot stuff.
You're no Sean Connery.
Would you believe, you're not even
as good as George Lazenby!
That frilly ascot's cut off
the flow the oxygen to your brain.
And the flow of your rapping
is also quite lame!
You think I'm dumb?
More brains than you I've got.
At least I never got fooled
by a girl who was a robot!
I'm in CONTROL of this battle.
I'm bringing KAOS to your day.
You should've stayed frozen.
You never bothered me anyway.

You're quoting a cartoon?
Well, isn't that nice.
When I'm through with you
you'll be the one who's on ice!
With Hurley and Beyonce
I get fit birds across time.
I think Hymie the Robot
is writing your lines!
Your opponents are a joke.
I've beaten masters of violence.
While you should have stayed
in your cone of silence!
This battle is over.
I've won it, it's true.
Maybe you should've
called for help on your shoe!

Who won!
Who's next?
You decide!


Yeah, baby!

Rap Battles of History!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.3
How Funny: 3.3
Overall Rating: 3.3

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   6
 2   1
 3   1
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Patrick - March 17, 2015 - Report this comment
I'd drop a "Nude Bomb" on both of them, but I'd have to look the other way when it went off. With agents like those two, it's a wonder the West won the Cold War. Maybe some day we'll find out who the Russians had working for them.
Michael Pacholek - March 18, 2015 - Report this comment
Haven't you heard? It was Felicity and her husband. #TheAmericans
Michael Pacholek - June 14, 2016 - Report this comment
The real ERB guys just did James Bond vs. Austin Powers. It was so good, it was shocking. Positively shocking. "Do you expect me to talk?" No, Mister Bond, I expect you to rhyme!
Callmelennie - June 14, 2016 - Report this comment
You weren't old enough to have seen "Get Smart" in its original run, were you? I was; it was one of my favorite show and I can give you 99 reasons why, IF yer catchin' my drift ... Of the two Barbaras, I definitely dug the Feldon version over the Eden version

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