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Song Parodies -> "I Don't Want This On My Pizza"

Original Song Title:

"I Took a Pill in Ibiza (SeeB Remix)"

Original Performer:

Mike Posner

Parody Song Title:

"I Don't Want This On My Pizza"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Into Pieces" self-challenge. Man attempts to order pizza...key word here being "attempts".
I don't want thi-is on my pizza
Said no anchovies, you great tool
I told you twenty times over, but you ignored it
You bastard, no, I'm not tippin' you
This incident would be la-a-ame
If you'd only screwed up once, true
But I sai-aid no mushrooms, my nose cannot take the funk fumes
Your indiff'rence makes you a douche

I only wanted a-a pie for me
You guys never gouge the pri-ice, so-o plea-ease
If you could go back and remake this without all the bits I find so gro-o-oss
Made it clear I never wanted this
Pepperoni makes me bu-urst i-in fi-its
Failed this pizza, which means you won't get paid for it
Put all that I hate on it

So damn gro-oss
It's ma-ade wro-o-ong, ma-ade wro-ong
Pizza's so da-amn gro-oss
Been ma-ade wro-o-ong, so-o wrong
Hey

I-I wo-on't eat thi-is, no-o-o (hey)
I-I wo-on't touch thi-is, no-o (hey)
I-I wo-on't eat thi-is, no-o-o (hey)
I-I wo-on't touch thi-is, no-o (hey)

So much for dinner
Cause your chefs are total clots
I never wanted those peppers, green or red, neither's better
My tongue will still go into shock
Hate to seem like a jerk, thou-ou-ough
Just delivered the food fai-ail, bud
Don't blame it on you-ou, though your attitude
Isn't helpin' me calm down that much

Can't pick the crap off the-e pie, you see
Flavour's soaked through the whole pie-ie, so-o plea-ease
Want a fresh one that won't make me throw it right back up, I know that it's gro-o-oss
Made it real clear when I ordered this
Onions tend to make me rea-eally-y si-ick
It's a five minute drive, so don't be lazy, twit
Go solve my complaint, you git

So da-amn gro-oss
Been ma-ade wro-o-ong, ma-ade wro-ong
Pizza's so da-amn gro-oss
It's plai-ain wro-o-ong, so-o wrong
Hey

I-I wo-on't touch thi-is, no-o-o (hey)
I-I wo-on't eat thi-is, no-o (hey)
Ma-ade wrong
I-I wo-on't touch thi-is, no-o-o (hey)
Plai-ain wrong
I-I wo-on't eat thi-is, no-o

Don't think I've ever had an incorrectly made pizza. Then again, that's not really hard when the only pizza I like is Hawaiian due to my Asperger-driven pickiness. I also don't call pizzas "pies" but that's my Australian-ness showing.

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Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 4

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