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Song Parodies -> "Crueler Than Me"

Original Song Title:

"Cooler Than Me"

Original Performer:

Mike Posner

Parody Song Title:

"Crueler Than Me"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Don't Stop The Pop" self-challenge. Sometimes new guys to the villain business get a bit up themselves and start thinking they're better than everyone. This annoys some of the more legit villains...
If I could mail you a bomb so it would blow you up
I would already have you spread over your lawn
I'd barbecue all your bits, and feed 'em to your kids
But you're wavin' me off, you think you're crueler than me

You've got no wall of lasers to guard your place and
You post on your blog that you're crueler than me
And you've never laid claim to eating someone's face
But you still seem to think that you are crueler than me

You've got a shortage of evil deeds
What you've done isn't much, you ain't hot shit
I don't see no big cardre of mooks
Who flinch at your ev'ry noise

Shh
You think you'll conquer the world
But you're not up to snuff, you are still green
You think you're so tough, I don't think so, dude
Can't say you're hard, too weak to steal someone's car

I'd love to mail you a bomb so you'd be blowin' up
You think that you're a monster but you've done no harm
You're just a dumb little kid who thinks that he's the shit
For no reason at all, you think you're crueler than me

You've got no skill with blades not scars on your face and
You're tellin' your friends that you are crueler than me
I must tell you, this ain't some dumb internet game, kid
You've broken no laws, you can't be crueler than me
(You-you)

You think you're hot now, what have you done?
Kept a library book, stolen wi-fi
Think you're so cold, you wannabe dork
All you've tortured are your toys

Shh
You're no threat, there is no doubt
Got no villain awards, no nominee
Your emo makeup, man, you're a joke, dude
Think you're so hard, never killed men over cards

You've no big schemes (no real schemes)
We've kicked you out (villain club, kicked out)
Cause we all see (we all see)
Among the rats, you've no clout

Think I should mail you a bomb, cause that should shut you up
Or kidnap you, brainwash you then cut off your arms
Prosthetic arms just for kicks, you'll clean out my toilet
How does that sound to you, still think you're crueler than me?

You've been around ten days, and you think you're ace, but
You're naught but an ant, so not crueler than me
So next time you say "hey" or suck to me, mate, well
You're gonna regret you said you're crueler than me

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