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Song Parodies -> "Calculator"

Original Song Title:

"Moves Like Jagger"

Original Performer:

Maroon 5

Parody Song Title:

"Calculator"

Parody Written by:

2nz

The Lyrics

Got inspired by the idea, and submitted it. Then performed it for my wife, who liked it but wanted to know if I could fit a reference about spelling BOOBS into it. I wasn't happy with one of the stanzas anyway, so here's my revised version. ENJOY YOUR MATH REFRESHER ALL (and thanks to those who check this out again, if you already read the first one) :cD.
Oh, yeah
Oh!

I square x and y
and then add them
Root negative, try
It’s imagined
All guesses are moot,
‘Cause I can compute
Just any square root

Now let’s derivate
With the chain rule
You’ll never be late
With this great tool
In exponential
E’s transcendental
And so integral

Press a butt-(on), it’s done

Think of all the trouble
it spares you
Try to stump the program
I dare you

On my calculator
My awesome calculator
My awesome caa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-al-culator

Won’t freak out on zero divides, man
Circles are as easy as PI, man

On my calculator
My awesome calculator
My awesome caa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-al-culator

Tan of a gent
You can see, can’t
you? It’s a percent
Of some line slants
If you get the urge
To see them converge
and measure the curve

Oh
the rise and the run
We divide it
Wait, curving is fun
Let’s derive it
And you want a graph
But can’t do the math
Please don’t make me laugh (Oh! Yeah yeah!)

Press a butt-(on), it’s done

Paper and a pen,
Are you joking?
Here look at this fine
Ass I’m toting

On my calculator
My awesome calculator
My awesome caa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-al-culator

Do it by yourself and you’ve gone nuts (Oh, yeah)
See the T and A of this rhombus

On my calculator
My awesome calculator (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
My awesome caa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-al-culator

It handles squares, it can also cube
Don’t despair, also it spells out 80085
And if you do quadratics
Don’t even have to ask it
It does it automatic

Isosceles
Has two equal sides
Not all three, oooh that would equalize
And it can help you stupids
To try to conquer Euclid
On a dimension two grid (Ay! Ay! Ay! Aaay!)

Press a butt-(on), it’s done

Take this ax-i-om
And hit ‘Enter’
(Take this ax-i-om)
It shows you the motion
‘round center
(Yeah yeah yeah!)

On my calculator
My awesome calculator
My awesome caa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-al-culator
(Oh, yeah)

Next to this, all others look paler
It can handle vector and scalar

Oh, my calculator
My awesome calculator
My awesome caa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-al-culator

Copyright 2012+ Glen Stollberger

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   12
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 12
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jeff Reuben - April 30, 2012 - Report this comment
Your wife is right, the 80085 reference is great :) You said you performed this, is there a recording out there somewhere? Well done.
Arwen - April 30, 2012 - Report this comment
I know I'd be lost without mine...and all I do is add and subtract... ; ) Nice work here...
Porfle Popnecker - April 30, 2012 - Report this comment
You actually made math fun.
Abbott Skelding - April 30, 2012 - Report this comment
-smacks self in face- Why the hell didn't I think of that!? Excellent job!
Matthias - April 30, 2012 - Report this comment
"Won’t freak out on zero divides, man" I'm glad you were able to work that meme in there. This was the most fun I ever had reading about calculators!
brightCAP - May 11, 2012 - Report this comment
If only pop music were so educational! You fit some great double entendres in there. Who wouldn't want to tap those buttons? My Favorite line: "Circles are as easy as PI, man." (Though that T and A rhombus line was a close 2nd)
Abbott Skelding - May 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Still an excellent read! I love the "easy as PI" line as well, nice job!
Blaydeman - May 22, 2012 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You know you've got a hit when you pull out any line from the entire parody and say it was a favorite. SSS on the calculator, flip it right side up and you get 555!
Peter Andersson - May 23, 2012 - Report this comment
My favorite song from Disturbed is called Divide and so far I've only managed to do zero takes on that, guess that proves Hitler was right after all! ;-)
bobpiecheese - May 26, 2012 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Holy crap, this was awesome. I have to show this to my brother, he'd probably know all the terms mentioned in it. I recognise the words but not what they mean, but that's maths for you. Fantastic work here, definitely set the bar for me when I get to this song in my World Go Boom self-challenge. 555!
Arwen - May 29, 2012 - Report this comment
SOTM...totally made me giggle, 2nzy. This = a winner! :)
Arwen - February 26, 2013 - Report this comment
SOTY...it's against my nature to like anything having to do with math as much as I like this parody. (the second math parody in the SOTY, too??!!) I love the OS...never got sick of it...and this really does = perfection!

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