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Song Parodies -> "Laps"

Original Song Title:

"Maps"

Original Performer:

Maroon 5

Parody Song Title:

"Laps"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2013 self-challenge. Running laps. Good way to lose weight? This guy doesn't think so!
Sweat on my face runs down in a line
I don't like that sensation
Whether it's flowin' in my eyes
Or in my mouth for salt ta-astin'
I wish it wasn't as hot as ba-alls
While joggin' laps all around my place
But even if it was real cold
I would still hate this crap all the same, uh
I'm not fit, it's true, I could be more lithe
Sure not fit, it's true, could be more thin, fine

But is this the-e way? Confu-used
I'm goin' round in circles, I can't see-ee-ee
How it's meant to shave off fat
Because it do-on't work, it's true-ue
Don't care what all the books might say to me-e-e
But I'm sick of joggin' laps all day, it's true-ue
These laps are the worst, du-ude
So far, done twenty-two-o
These laps plain suck, it's true
Sorry, it's, sorry, it's, sorry, it's the tru-uth
These laps are the worst, du-ude
Now I've done thirty-two-o
These laps just suck, it's true
Really shit, really shit, really shit

From early mornin' to late at night
Keep myself in rotation
And still my frame is more oval-y
Instead of a Dorito, dude
I'm not Chris Evans yet, it's true, ooh
Cause it's been a few months since I first tried
Doin' all this junk, was it all a lie?

Not one kilo-ogram, it's true-ue
Though I've gone round enough to get dizzy-y-y
Won't give up, but it's still crap
That I'm still a-a flabby du-ude
It makes not one damn lick of sense to me-e-e
But I'll still be joggin' laps all day, it's true-ue
Though laps are the worst, du-ude
I'm up to forty-two-o
These laps have killed my shoes
Gonna stick, gonna stick, gonna stick, it's true-ue
Though laps may blow hard, du-ude
I just passed fifty-two-o
These laps must pay off soon

Oh, oh-oh, oh, uh
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, uh
Yeah, yeah, yeah, uh
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, uh
Oh, sure I may eat food, oh-oh, and not the best kind (oh, oh-oh, oh, uh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, uh)
Oh, sure that may be true, oh-oh, but I will still try (yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, uh)
Oh, sure my joggin' speed's, oh-oh, slow as a snail, fine (oh, oh-oh, oh, uh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, uh)
Oh, sure my laps have been, oh-oh, round this one lamp light (yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, uh)

But I still do-on't get it, du-ude (ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Cause even though I still scoff fast food, plea-ea-ease
I can't be at fault here, man
Own the blame? No-o, I refu-use
It's all these books and blogs that lied to me-e-e
They all swore that joggin' laps would work, ain't true-ue (lap joggin')
These laps I've done suck, du-ude (lap joggin')
Might have been sixty-two-o (lap joggin')
Damn laps have drained me, dude (drained dry, dude, du-u-ude)
But I'll stick, but I'll stick, but I'll stick, it's true-ue (lap joggin')
These laps may blow chunks, du-ude (lap joggin')
Gone past seventy-two-o (yeah-ee-yeah-ee)
These laps must pay off soon (yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah)
Though they're shit, though they're shit, though they're shit (yeah, yeah)

10th Maroon 5 parody. This is amusing only to me.

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