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Song Parodies -> "Hard (Candy Crush)"

Original Song Title:

"Rude"

Original Performer:

Magic!

Parody Song Title:

"Hard (Candy Crush)"

Parody Written by:

Ethan Mawyer

The Lyrics

I wrote most of this years ago about my relationship with a certain game, maybe slightly exaggerated. I started this song a few hundred levels in. I'm a bit further now, despite not having played for a while.
This game’s important, I don’t know why
Guess that’s how things are
My play is poor, although I try
Can’t seem to get far
It has a store, I think that I need
To make an investment
I can’t wait much more, the app speaks to me

Asking for a dollar to extend my game life
I guess, I guess, since I feel so close
I feel like songs are too expensive when they’re the same price
But now I spend because the game sells hope

Why’s it gotta be so hard?
Maxing out my credit card
Why’s it gotta be so hard
I feel this candy is crushing me
Failure can hurt
Candy is crushing me
Failure can hurt
And make me whine grumpily
Failure can hurt
These jellies are stumping me
Why’s it gotta be so…
Hard?

Marmalade’s stupid, chocolate is worse
The cake can eat me
Rainbows, tornadoes, both make me curse
Can’t seem to speak sweetly
When I see licorice
Makes me feel a little sick inside
There’s hope for me with the fish
Of course those are things I must buy

Can I give a dollar for a booster or five?
Alas, alas, they’re much more than that
Though the game looks sweet like honey from bees in a hive
If I can’t win, then I’ve hit a sour patch

Why’s it gotta be so hard?
Maxing out my credit card
Why’s it gotta be so hard
I feel this candy is crushing me
Failure can hurt
Candy is crushing me
Failure can hurt
Make me whine grumpily
Failure can hurt
These jellies are stumping me
Why’s it gotta be so…
Hard?

Quit this game a lot since it’s been eating my time
Alas, alas, I just reinstall
I think I must’ve given upwards of a thousand dimes
I should be done, I’m not close at all


Why’s it gotta be so hard?
Maxing out my credit card
Why’s it gotta be so hard
I feel this candy is crushing me
Failure can hurt
Candy is crushing me
Failure can hurt
And make me whine grumpily
Failure can hurt
These jellies are stumping me
Why’s it gotta be so…
Hard?

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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 5   1
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