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Song Parodies -> "Stuck As A Bus"

Original Song Title:

"Can't Hold Us"

Original Performer:

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

Parody Song Title:

"Stuck As A Bus"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Living The Fantasy" self-challenge. Yes, as a bus, not in a bus. What, did you think every Autobot was happy with the alt-mode granted to them by the AI in the Autobot's flagship, the Ark, while they were all unconscious from crash-landing into a volcano? The answer to that suspiciously exposition-laden is, at least according to this guy, is not always...
Ay, ay, ay
Slag! This blows
Hahahaha
Not right, not right
It's lame, uh, not right, it's lame
Not right, so lame (oooooooooooooooh!)

My new life is crap, tell you why that is
I can't help with the Autobot mission
I'm stuck wastin' ev'ry day transportin' human pests
Instead of bashin' all of the Con's heads 'cause my disguise is crappy, it sucks!
Not my fault for scannin'
This damnable bus, I kinda was unconscious
Ark chose this for me, it's boxy, it suits me
Not a tank? Nope, nope, that's too war-ry, guh
Slag, stuck drivin' all around this damn city
And Prime won't give the okay
To let me re-scan, no way, it's stupid
Would break the disguise if a bus somehow up and disappeared, I get it
But Prime, come oooooooon
Sick of drivin' in circles 'round town
And if I hear one more joke 'bout how I'm late to fight, funny
I will start punchin' until someone falls down
Sick of bein' the butt of jokes, sick of this human town, trust me
Cause my V-E-H-I-C-L-E M-O-D-E is sluggish
Can't I be a nice F-15 or a half-track gunnin'?
I'm stuck in this city, filled with damn brats, smug twats chummin'
Had it to here, I wish I could do somethin'
"Autobots help the people", sick of that credo, buddy
I am no mere taxi, want to shoot somethin'
Why'd the Ark scan this feeble bus, can't I be a Camry?

My-y alt mode's crap, stuck for the moment
Would like to change, right, I'm 'bout to boil over
I want a 'Con to punch, but I'm stuck as a-a damn bus
I don't wanna be-e a bus
Thi-is mode is crap, no speedy movement
I'd like to switch, right, give 'Cons the once-over
With my rather large gun, but I'm stuck as a-a damn bus
I don't wanna be-e a bus

Why can't I change it? Slag you
Can't say that I'm grateful
For this bus mode because it sure sucks
But that's a point I've already told you
Prime, just let me
Switch my vehicular form, no human would miss me
Cause one less bus on the street won't be an anomaly
Cause the bus service is piss-weak, sure
They'd miss me if I'm gone? Don't think so, right
A whole new world to see, there's more than this one city, so
Can I switch to somethin' that flies now?
I'm sick of cartin' fleshies to and fro
Same destinations, I don't get gratitude from the people, wow
Just wanna be in a fight
Screw this, man, I'm no damn ferry
I've been lookin' at new alt modes, I'd like to swap 'em
Because this racket is so not me
Just give me a shot, please
Be a two-wheeler or an off-road jeep
Anythin', I just wanna help

I-in this war crap, beat all the 'Cons up
Sick of this bus tripe, maybe a Range Rover
Could work, let me change up, never liked bei-in' a bus
I don't wanna be-e a bus
You-ou should know that, in all of my reports
That I hate this tripe, can't wait 'til it's over
Sick of the same ol' crud I've been doin' a-as a bus
I don't wanna be-e a bus

Don't leave me stuck as a bus
As alt modes go, it sure sucks
Wa-oh-oh-oh wa-oh-oh-oh wa-oh-oh-oh
It blows!
Na-na-na-na na-na-na-na (aha)
He-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ey
Prefer to be a plane
Na-na-na-na na-na-na-na (see, Prime? Ain't good)
He-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ey
Don't let me be a train
Na-na-na-na na-na-na-na (you ask why?)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Cause they're kinda the same
Na-na-na-na na-na-na-na
Change my fo-o-o-o-orm

Tho-ose are the facts, alt mode is bullcrap
And I have the right, to swap this mode over
For one that doesn't suck, I'm sick of bei-in' a bus
I don't wanna be-e a bus
Bu-uses are crap, can I ask Ratchet
To swap it tonight, could my new alt mode be
A really awesome truck, anythin' but a-a damn bus
I don't wanna be-e a bus

"Slag" is a common expletive in Transformers, fitting for a term that means ore-smelting by-product. It's also the name of several Transformers, which is probably like being named Dick Trickle or Alfred Butts. Then Hasbro remembered that slag means "slut" in England, so it's gone bye-bye. The more you know!

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