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Song Parodies -> "Scroll Down Loads"

Original Song Title:

"Old Town Road (Remix)"

Original Performer:

Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus

Parody Song Title:

"Scroll Down Loads"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Run Away" self-challenge. The final part, in fact (not including the supplemental)! So let's tackle probably the most successful meme song of the decade with some tech ramblings!
Oh-oh-ho, oh-oh-ho-ho-oh
Oh-oh-ho, ah-la-la

Yeah, had to click back, this blows, hate to scroll down loads
'Fraid your website won't get faved, hell no
I clicked on "back", no joke, hate to scroll down loads
Now I'll describe (listen, listen) more detail like so:

I like to juggle lots of tabs, if one really drags
Hard to handle that cause I'm always losin' track
Don't want to get bored, ha, shouldn't be a chore
When the scroll bar vanishes, I say out loud "Good lord" now

Sorry, I know that you covet
Huge hit numbers, but this
Will make all your traffic plummet
Because no-one wants this

Time's not the one factor, there's another chapter
Constant loadin's crazy, hate when it's a lagger
And what's extra foolish and just a tad ghoulish
Page jumps while perusin', needs to be more fluid

Of this page, I will read nothin'
Back, I won't come runnin'
Your whole site, I won't be touchin'
In all ways, it's suckin'

Yeah, I won't come back, this blows, hate to scroll down loads
I know that I'm not the sole one, no
Search the hashtags, well known, hate to scroll down loads
And your website's the worst one, 'fraid so

Tap out, gone now, no reason to go far
Site design is cruddy, won't be in my bookmarks
Oh, and 'bout your askin' to whitelist your site on Adblock:
That would've been fine even if I never logged back on
But the ads you had? Total crap
Compounded the scrollin' time and the jumps, screw that
It seems your whole site's based around "scroll down loads"
I can't abide by that, so I'll go

Yeah, closin' that tab, it blows, hate to scroll down loads
Checked, I did find each page does that, so
You need a revamp, bro, hate to scroll down loads
Go viral? Might, not how you want, no

To paraphrase Red Dwarf, I could never invent a song like this, Lister. You see all the ingredients are wrong. The name of the artist: wrong; the fusion of trap and country with a Nine Inch Nails sample: wrong. The featured artist being one-hit wonder doofus Billy Ray Cyrus: all wrong. But put them together and somehow it works. It becomes right.

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