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Song Parodies -> "Gorn This Way"

Original Song Title:

"Born This Way"

Original Performer:

Lady GaGa

Parody Song Title:

"Gorn This Way"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

This is my 57th Lady GaGa parody and a tribute to Star Trek TOS Ep.18 "Arena" where Kirk must fight the Gorn reptilian over the Cestus III Outpost. The mysterious Metrons intervene and put them to a trial by combat. Winner survives and is released with his ship, the loser dies and his ship is destroyed. One of the most memorable of Star Trek episodes due to the Gorn hissing and taunting (first use of universal translators?) and Kirk's skill at building an improvised cannon from gunpowder, the bamboo-like barrel of a plant, and some diamond-like crystal shards as projectiles!!!
[Intro:]
Doesn't matter if you call him Jim, or Captain K-I-R-K
Just get your defense up
to fight the Gorn this way, (gonna be) tricky

Enterprise on Cestus III mission
Warping its way through the stars
Stardate 3045.6 Kirk arrives
By invitation of Travers

But the Outpost is destroyed, smashed and charred
Spock, McCoy can find only one saved
The landing party then comes under fire
From an unknown enemy…

[Chorus]
At max Warp 5 on their way
Both ships are scanned in space
A trial by combat, tricky
To fight the Gorn this way
Forced to fight on desert planet
Make a weapon and you're set
A trial by combat, tricky
To fight the Gorn this way

[Post-chorus]
No, there ain't no other way
Tricky to fight the Gorn this way
Tricky to fight the Gorn this way
No, there ain't no other way
Tricky to fight the Gorn this way
A trial by combat, tricky
To fight the Gorn this way

The Gorn is mad, bent on killing
The Gorn is mad, bent on killing
The Gorn is mad, bent on killing
Can‘t flee!

Roll down a boulder
Strike the Gorn down
Sadly Jim, it was no use
Now you’ve been caught yourself in a rope lure
But you escaped, while the Gorn taunts you

You’ve got to build yourself a weapon
The Gorn, there’s no stopping H-I-M (Hiss, hiss, hiss)
You gotta save your life, save the ship, and
Deal with the enigmatic Metrons

At max Warp 5 on their way
Both ships are scanned in space
A trial by combat, tricky
To fight the Gorn this way
Forced to fight on desert planet
Make a weapon and you're set
A trial by combat, tricky
To fight the Gorn this way

[Post-chorus]
No, there ain't no other way
Tricky to fight the Gorn this way
Tricky to fight the Gorn this way
No, there ain't no other way
Tricky to fight the Gorn this way
A trial by combat, tricky
To fight the Gorn this way

[Bridge]
The Gorn is mad, bent on killing
Most willful creature ever seen
But wait, there’s raw materials
Gunpowder, barrel, and crystals
Now’s the chance to really succeed
Make a cannon, have what you need
Now’s the time to make the Gorn pay
It’s tricky to fight the Gorn this way

Just a Federation guy
With the strongest will to survive,
A trial by combat, tricky
Kirk is still much alive
The Gorn is enraged, and engaged
But blasted by cannon Kirk made,
A trial by combat, tricky
Kirk, his life he has saved

At max Warp 5 on their way
Both ships are scanned in space
A trial by combat, tricky
To fight the Gorn this way
Forced to fight on desert planet
Make a weapon and you're set
A trial by combat, tricky
To fight the Gorn this way

[Post-chorus]
No, there ain't no other way
Tricky to fight the Gorn this way
Tricky to fight the Gorn this way
No, there ain't no other way
Tricky to fight the Gorn this way
A trial by combat, tricky
To fight the Gorn this way

[Outro/refrain]
Must fight the Gorn this way hey!
Must fight the Gorn this way hey!
A trial by combat, tricky
Must fight the Gorn this way hey!
Must fight the Gorn this way hey!
Must fight the Gorn this way hey!
A trial by combat, tricky
Must fight the Gorn this way hey!

[Fade away]
Made a cannon, blew him away
Made a cannon, blew him away
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/ab/STArena.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
 1
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 3   2
 0
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 4   0
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 5   7
 8
 7
 

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - November 18, 2011 - Report this comment
Rob - One of my all-time favorite episodes. This is extraordinary, but (to use a line from the script) we are a most promising species. ;D
Porfle Popnecker - November 18, 2011 - Report this comment
Great Trek parody! "Arena" (based on an "Outer Limits" episode) was the one where an explosion in the pre-titles sequence gave Shatner a permanent hearing problem. I love the way they spoof Kirk's makeshift weapon in "Galaxy Quest" when Sam Rockwell tells Tim Allen (who's fleeing from a giant rock monster): "Look around you...can you construct a rudimentary lathe?"
Pauli - November 18, 2011 - Report this comment
As a Trekker I find that Arena is one of the most cherished episodes ever of TOS.
AB-norm-Al - November 18, 2011 - Report this comment
Big Al likes, great parody! Three 5s. Live long and prosper.

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