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Song Parodies -> "GEFAS"

Original Song Title:

"Judas"

Original Performer:

Lady GaGa

Parody Song Title:

"GEFAS"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

GEFAS is being developed as a complete family of wheeled vehicles that will have a very high level of crew survivability through a full 360 degrees against a wide range of threats. This is achieved by having the crew compartment, or citadel, in the centre of the vehicle with the wheels at the extreme ends of the vehicle. The citadel is provided with appliqué armour that can be changed as the threat evolves or as new technology becomes available. If the vehicle does run over an anti-tank mine then the main force of the explosion will be taken by the wheels and suspension rather than the crew compartment. The crew compartment has a new V shaped hull design so that any mine blast is not contained but is vented upwards. The 4 × 4 model will have seats for six people, driver, commander and four crew members seated two abreast. The seats are a new design and not anchored to the floor. Bullet proof windows provide a high level of protection as well as situational awareness. External stowage containers are provided for crew equipment with the upper part of the citadel also being well sloped inwards. The external stowage containers help to minimise the space required within the vehicle as well as helping to absorb some of the blast energy of mines and IED. In front of the crew module is the diesel-electric propulsion module with the main engine being a MTU 4R 890 4-cylinder diesel developing 410 kW. This is a version of the same engine that powers the new German Army Puma IFV. The electrical energy generated also powers the electric motors located in the axle modules. On-board batteries allow the vehicle to be run with the main engine shut down for short distances. The front and rear axle modules, which are identical and compatible, are steered to allow the vehicle to operate in confined spaces encountered in urban operations. Turning radius is being quoted as only 6.8 m. A central tyre pressure regulation system is fitted as standard as is an NBC/air conditioning system. The double wishbone suspension has been developed by Timoney of Ireland who have considerable experience in suspension design and development for a variety of wheeled vehicles. The tyres are fitted with run flat devices and a central tyre inflation system is fitted as standard. This allows the driver to adjust the tyre pressure to suit the terrain being crossed. The 4 × 4 vehicle will typically be fitted with a remote-control weapon station armed with a machine gun or 40 mm automatic grenade launcher. This will enable targets to be engaged with the crew under full armour protection. According to RLS, the GEFAS will be able to withstand the explosion of a 150 kg IED detonated close to the vehicle. It will also provide protection against the highly effective TMRP-7 anti-tank mines, Explosively Formed Projectiles (EFP) and optional RPG-7 attack. The vehicle could also be fitted with a high-power electromagnetic (HPEM) system to prevent the radio-controlled detonation of IED. Electro-optical sensor systems with downstream image processing for mobile target detection and tracking will ensure timely recognition of hostile threats. Laser optical sensors linked to smoke/obscurant effectors reduce the risk of sniper attacks before the enemy fires a shot according to RLS. It is expected that the 4 × 4 version will have a maximum combat weight of about 17 tonnes of which 1.5 tonnes will be payload. This will allow two vehicles to be transported in an A400M transport aircraft. RLS is currently studying a whole family of GEFAS vehicles and these will include 6 × 6 and 8 × 8 models. All of these will share a number of common sub-systems, for example axle modules. These modules will be held together by a small number of module connectors. All elements are connected by a data bus that provide the crew with considerable amount of information as well as the state of all key sub-systems. Mission management, navigation and communications would depend on mission requirements. This feature is claimed to reduce overall life cycle costs (for example procurement and running) as well as making the vehicle easier to maintain.
Go, go, go, go
Riding in a GEFAS

Go, go, go, go
Riding in a GEFAS

GEFAS! GECON GEFAS! GE-FAS
GEFAS! GECON GEFAS! GO! GO!

When it comes to IEDs it is ready
The citadel section sits high for survivability
High suspension, V-hull, and MTU 4R 890
In the event of explosion guarantees safety

IEDs can’t bring it down, can’t bring him down, down
Diverts explosions around, diverts explosions around

[Chorus]
German armor is so cool, IEDs can be so cruel
But we‘re still riding in a GEFAS, it’s ready
German armor is so cool, IEDs can be so cruel
But we‘re still riding in a GEFAS, it’s ready

Go, go, go, go
Riding in a GEFAS

Go, go, go, go
Riding in a GEFAS

GEFAS! GECON GEFAS! GE-FAS
GEFAS! GECON GEFAS! GO! GO!

I couldn’t praise an AFV more proudly
Protection from all threats 360 degrees
GECON forces need it for the region
It can hit explosives and survive, no bodies

IEDs can’t bring it down, can’t bring him down, down
Diverts explosions around, diverts explosions around

German armor is so cool, IEDs can be so cruel
But we‘re still riding in a GEFAS, it’s ready
German armor is so cool, IEDs can be so cruel
But we‘re still riding in a GEFAS, it’s ready

Go, go, go, go
Riding in a GEFAS

Go, go, go, go
Riding in a GEFAS

[Bridge]
In the most technical sense,
It is beyond brilliance
Applied armor, bulletproof glass, modular design
But in the military sense
the Bundeswehr knows best
GEFAS, meant for the ISAF
Offers the best protection against mines

Insurgents wanna destroy you,
But nothing’s gonna touch this vehicle
Rheinmetall breakthrough,
GEFAS is the AFV Soldaten climb into
They climb into

German armor is so cool, IEDs can be so cruel
But we‘re still riding in a GEFAS, it’s ready
German armor is so cool, IEDs can be so cruel
But we‘re still riding in a GEFAS, it’s ready

Go, go, go, go
Riding in a GEFAS

Go, go, go, go
Riding in a GEFAS

GEFAS! GECON GEFAS! GE-FAS
GEFAS! GECON GEFAS! GO! GO!
http://www.army-technology.com/projects/gefas/images/1-gefas-vehicle.jpg http://www.quarry.nildram.co.uk/Gefase.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   3
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Patrick - August 01, 2011 - Report this comment
One of those would be handy on the streets of Kansas City.
WCJ - August 01, 2011 - Report this comment
Everything has a weak spot, remember, even Superman had his Kryptonite. ;-) Excellent work Rob! 5's! :-)
Rob Arndt - August 01, 2011 - Report this comment
Makes the Hummer look like a POS- If I were rich I would buy one and make it street legal. Would love to drive this anywhere and park it at the local Costco or Wal-Mart parking lots!!! Modern SdKfz 251....

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