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Song Parodies -> "Why's Everything So Pants?"

Original Song Title:

"Bad Romance"

Original Performer:

Lady Gaga

Parody Song Title:

"Why's Everything So Pants?"

Parody Written by:

Wendy Christopher

The Lyrics

I've wanted to write a parody for a Lady Gaga song for ages, but I've had to wait awhile before inspiration finally hit me. It amuses me how much attention she gets, and how the media hang on to everything she says and does and analyses it all for deep, philosophical meaning. So I got to thinking... how much could she change the world if she sang about the really trivial, dumb little things in life?
(I've written it to fit this version of the original song. I hope it doesn't get too confusing at the end, I tried to put it all in the right order as much as I could!)
Oh-oh oh-oh ohh oh-oh oh-oh-ohhh
Oh-ohh-ohh why’s everything so pants?
Oh-oh oh-oh ohh oh-oh oh-oh-ohhh
Oh-ohh-ohh all just a pile of pants

Roh-ful, L-mah-oww
Wuh-tuh fuh and wow
LOL, LOL, oh-mah-gowd
And other text crap

Im-ho, af-ai-K
B-R-B, wahey
M-eight, it’s all crap*

I’m gonna do it, just say what I see
‘Cause everybody always listens to me
That’s how it goes
Ga-ga-ga’s got funky prose

They like my lyrics, they’re liking my sound
It could be bollocks or it could be profound
Who really knows?
Oh no no nobody knows

Played on every station
I’m a media sensation
The world awaits
What Gaga states

So if you’re listening then I’m gonna complain
Tell me why is everything so pants? (Oh-oh oh-oh ohh)
Annoying little things no-one can explain
Everything that makes our lives so pants
Oh-oh oh-oh ohhh oh-oh-oh-oh ohhh
Ohh ohh ohh why’s everything so pants?
Oh-oh oh-oh ohhh oh-oh-oh-oh ohhh
Ohh ohh ohh so many things are pants

Wah-wah oom-pa-pah
Doo-wop, tra-la-lah
Ba-dum-tish, ta-daa
Here comes some more crap…

Crumbs just collect on my laminate floors
Can’t get the lid off my Ragu pasta sauce
Who screws them on?
Ow ow ow it hurts a ton!

The Windows updates screw up my PC
And Spongebob should float on the top of the sea
They got that wrong!
Bad bad science it’s just wrong

I see everyone frown
As they’re writing my words down
(Hey, I’m not kidding, dammit!)
They think it’s fun
But I’m not done

I want some answers, it matters to me
Why the heck is everything so pants? (Oh-oh oh-oh ohh)
They never talk about this stuff on TV
All the things that make our lives so pants!
Oh-oh oh-oh ohhh oh-oh-oh-oh ohhh
Ohh ohh ohh why’s everything so pants?
Oh-oh oh-oh ohhh oh-oh-oh-oh ohhh
Ohh ohh ohh life is just full of pants

Yo, yo, pimp ma ho’
2-Pac, Jay-Z, J-Lo
Yo wassup ma bro’?
Don’t understand that…

Wasps sting, mossies eat me
Childproof bottles just defeat me
My Happy Meal wasn’t
My self-cleaning oven doesn’t
Big thighs, jelly belly
Why’s Big Brother still on telly?
Bank knows you got money
But computer says no, honey!

I hope you’re hearing the list that I’ve made
Of little things raining on my parade
Souhaite que je pourrais parler français
Mais je ne peux pas parler le français

(Oh-oh oh-oh ohhh oh-oh-oh-oh ohhh)
How can we fix this mess? (Let’s sort it out, it’s pants!)
Make it suck a bit less? (Oh-oh oh-oh ohhh oh-oh-oh-oh ohhh)
I’ll let you all know (in my next video)
A proper freak show

Call the world leaders this is serious shit
Ask them why is everything so pants? (Oh-oh oh-oh ohh)
Because if they all work together on it
We can banish everything that’s pants!
Oh-oh oh-oh ohhh oh-oh-oh-oh ohhh (let there be no pants!)
O-ba-ma let’s work on all the pants! (a war on pants!)
Oh-oh oh-oh ohhh oh-oh-oh-oh ohhh (‘cause everything is pants!)
Ohh ohh ohh just concentrate on pants

Ha ha, blah blah blah
Ra-ra me Ga-ga
Da-da okay yah
Ta-ra and see ya!
*Those two bits make more sense when spoken aloud than read - honest!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   1
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Below Average Dave - May 16, 2011 - Report this comment
Excellent job Wendy. Lady GaGa is a fun artist to parody, as I'm sure you've noticed, because she has simplistic rhyme schemes and meters. . .and Bad Romance has to be her most parodied song and thus the hardest to be original on, and yet I can say that with all the parodies I've read and heard of this song, I actually don't recall hearing one quite like this, and you got some laughs out of me--which is not easy to do considering how many parodies I write/read. . .so my opinion: This parody is really really good, keep it up!
Tommy Turtle - May 16, 2011 - Report this comment
I avoid LGG as much as possible, DKTOS, and DK much about her. Except that she's totally inane. So 555 for skewering the inanity.
          I always wonder why *anyone* pays any attention to political, social, or other serious comments by singers, dancers, actors (except me, of course ;), or others whose sole "qualification" is celebrityhood (possibly achieved by sleeping one's way to the top).

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