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Song Parodies -> "Bad Ripped Pants"

Original Song Title:

"Bad Romance"

Original Performer:

Lady Gaga

Parody Song Title:

"Bad Ripped Pants"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

This guy just needs some new pants....
No, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh…
I hate these bad ripped pants
No, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh…
Took off these bad ripped pants

Paws clawed you guffaw
“Haw Haw” from your maw
Nah pa so bourgeois
Don’t want bad ripped pants

Broke laws such a draw
Legs gnawed by macaws
In straws like coleslaw
Don’t want bad ripped pants

I want some Dickies
I want some capries
Want pants to cover me
My thong you can see
You’ll see my butt
Butt, butt, butt… You’ll see my butt


I want Hip-Huggers
I’ll slip on slick slacks
I want some lederhosen or leather chaps
I want them snug
Snug, snug, snug
I want them snug
Snug, snug, snug- I want them snug

I want jeans that are blue
And I’ll wear acid washed too
Cause I have bad, bad ripped pants

I want new duds and
I want to look fresh
I’m aggrieved cause I have bad ripped pants
(No, oh, oh, oh, oh)
While at the club I’ll
Put on Hammer pants
They see me and they all have to laugh

No, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh…
Caught in these bad ripped pants
No, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh…
Can’t stand these bad ripped pants

Those taunts they will haunt
Told you what I want
To flaunt on a jaunt
In some brand new pants!

Some brand name trousers
Since mine are like twine
My cheeks are visible
Not decked to the nines
I’m looking rough
Rough, rough, rough- I’m looking rough

I want your Dockers
Your casual shorts
Your view of my rear is gross
I heard you retort
Makes you upchuck
Chuck, chuck, chuck
Makes you upchuck
Chuck, chuck, chuck- Makes you upchuck

Some yoga pants would do
(With the words: “Juicy Baby”)
Even a kilt would work, dude
Don’t want these bad, bad ripped pants

Don’t need new shoes, I’ve
Got them in my clench
What I need are just some decent pants
I want to rock with
All the latest jeans trends
Cause I freeze in these damn ripped pants

No, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh…
Sell me some brand new pants!
No, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh…
Don’t want these bad ripped pants!

No fun shorts are done
I’m shunned by my son
He’s stunned a whole ton
Due to bad ripped pants!

Gawked, mocked, Asked for Levi’s
In trunks by the seaside

Knocked, shocked, Looking tacky
Please give me some Khakis

Lack slack fashion goofy
Those bellbottoms groovy

Socks, frocks, Scrap that clothing
Pants that don’t itch, Groaning

I don’t need gloves
Or berets that are French
My legs are shoved
Into Wranglers you lent

At the pants store
Pantaloons fill my drawer
Buy more and more
All my money I’ll spend
No, oh, oh, oh, oh…
On those Lees that you vend
(Sick of these bad ripped pants)
Then my torment will end!
No, oh, oh, oh, oh…
Want some brand new pants
(Done with these bad ripped pants)

I’ll take boot-cut
Or some knickerbockers
A codpiece would beat these bad ripped pants
No, oh, oh, oh, oh….
I’ll flaunt Zubaz
Or some baggy Tripp pants
People freak each time they take a glance

No, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh…
Haunted by these pants!
(Fought off these bad ripped pants)
Don’t you know my stance?!

No, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh…
You’re flashed when I prance!
(Squat and your eyeballs blast)

Cut up, See my butt
I strut and it’s smut
My nuts, Clamp eyes shut
Done with bad ripped pants!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.5
How Funny: 2.6
Overall Rating: 2.6

Total Votes: 27

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   14
 2   2
 3   2
 4   1
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Steroidal Freak - July 29, 2015 - Report this comment
Brawndo is going to make you need NEW PANTS!
Peter Andersson - July 29, 2015 - Report this comment
Kudos for varying the lines all the way 'til the song/pants fell apart - I guess you can always work as Donald Duck at Disney if you have to go without them.
Blaydeman - February 14, 2017 - Report this comment
(Artistry) This song is a lot more difficult than people give it credit for. That was a lot of variation you jammed in here and I for one really applaud it. You did a great job with the "ra-ras"! I was completely floored by that. There were pacing issues, and the phrase "bad ripped pants" doesn't really flow together all that well, but I had fun with it nonetheless. A good effort, but could use some tweaking.
Agrimorfee - February 21, 2017 - Report this comment
A little too weird and off-topic in the opening "gaga" chants, but the depth and variety you put into the topic of pants (Zubaz? That's a thing?) is mighty damned impressive.
Max Power - February 21, 2017 - Report this comment
My life haven't been the same ever since I ripped my pants like Spongebob.
Abbott Skelding - February 21, 2017 - Report this comment
I agree with Blaydeman that "bad, ripped pants" is a little clunky...but this was really fun with a lot of funny lines. Though it might be stretched a little thin, topic-wise, but this is a fun piece of parody.
bobpiecheese - February 21, 2017 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I personally would've preferred some more context as to why the pants were ripped in the first place, but otherwise this was a pretty awesome parody. 555 new jeans!

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