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Song Parodies -> "The Third Time Around (War Version)"

Original Song Title:

"The Third Time Around"

Original Performer:

Lady Gaga

Parody Song Title:

"The Third Time Around (War Version)"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

This one is for Patrick :)
How many times was this used?
Once, World War I, then excused
Back again for World War II
Stopping it was the good news

It weighed heavy 20 lbs
No grunt wanted to carry it around
Heat problems? Stop firing- no sound!
Magazine swaps? 20 rounds!!!

M1918 BAR?
PUT IT DOWN!!!

[Chorus]
The third time around
Korean battlegrounds
SAW wasn’t around
BAR made by typewriter clowns*

New flash hider was pronged
Gas regulator adjusted wrong
Plastic butt wasn’t wooden strong
Still, production went on

And on…
And on…
And on…

Was never practical for a squad
In World War II- just plain odd
No carry handle, shoulder on, ON
Short burst didn’t last long

Hard to believe that this lasted so long
‘Til the M249 came along
M14E was soooooo wrong
Army weapon decisions by clods

M1918 BAR?
PUT IT DOWN!!!

The third time around
Korean battlegrounds
SAW wasn’t around
BAR made by typewriter clowns*

Still, production went on

And on…
And on…
And on…

From long ago when on mud soldiers trod

M1918 BAR?
PUT IT DOWN!!!

The third time around
Korean battlegrounds
SAW wasn’t around
BAR made by typewriter clowns*

[Repeat and fade out]
* Royal McBee Typewriter Company!!!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Patrick - August 06, 2013 - Report this comment
Clyde Barrow seemed to like them. My Dad fired them in the Army. Said they fired so slow it was easy to squeeze off single rounds even when set to full auto. I got to hold a dummy or semiautomatic BAR. Heavy! How did anyone ever lug one of those things around in battle? Looking for a photo of a Colt Monitor. Know anything about an H&R "Bobby" revolver. Can't find a decent photo of one of those either. Reportedly all were destroyed after the war. May still be a few in the US. Basically just a break-top H&R .32 auto-ejector with a Defender grip. Maybe I can con someone with more skill than I have to build one for me.
Rob Arndt - August 06, 2013 - Report this comment
Colt M75 Monitor Machine Rifle:
http://milpas.cc/rifles/ZFiles/Manufacturers/Colt/Colt%20monitor.jpg
Rob Arndt - August 06, 2013 - Report this comment
The "Bobby Revolver" was actually designated H&R (Harrington & Richardson, Worchester, Mass) Mark II .32. Over 23,000 were produced for the British Metropolitan Police during WW2 and less than 2,000 for the US (some to OSS, FBI as PM or Premiere Model). No decent pics unholstered. Looks like a short Webley with 4" barrel and auto-ejection. H&R probably best known for the Defender .38, right? They also had a .32 Hammerless!
Robert Jr. - August 06, 2013 - Report this comment
no decent pics of your 4"barrel with auto-ejection.ugh.
Patrick - August 07, 2013 - Report this comment
The regular H&R top break .32 is or used to be common around here. I've rebuilt a few over the years. Most have 3 inch or 3-1/4" barrels. The Defender was a .38. Used by factory guards, Post Office, air raid wardens. Simple, easy to handle. Defender is quite a bit larger than the Auto-Ejector. Frame is shaped differently. The Bobby was an Auto-Ejector with a larger, curved frame to accommodate the Defender grip. A fellow named Bill Goforth wrote two great books on the Iver Johnson revolvers. He was working on a book about Harrington & Richardson when he died a couple years ago. The fellow who was supposed to finish the book apparently never did. I was really looking forward to it. For all the millions produced, there is not a lot of info on H&R firearms.

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