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Song Parodies -> "Beneath Your Cuticles"

Original Song Title:

"Beneath Your Beautiful"

Original Performer:

Labrinth ft. Emeli Sandé

Parody Song Title:

"Beneath Your Cuticles"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Always remember to wash your hands!
Has somebody voiced "Gross!"
Recently? Good, yeah
Because it can't just be me
Who's seen the nasty display, oh-oh no
Not the most grievous wrong
One could come up with, not lyin' (ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ho-oh-ho)
But when my little eye
Moves just so and spies it
I just wanna cry

Must you let me see beneath your cuticles?
So much foul grease there beneath your cuticles
I might up and hurl, just might up and hurl
Such a disgustin' sight
What we all see there beneath your cuticles, not right
Oh-oh-oh, hah

Really let yourself go
Not a great look (ee-yeah-eah-eah), is it?
Well, the rest of you glows
But your fingers, they seem unseemly
Put all our handshakes off
I don't know what all that grime is (ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ho-oh-ho)
Wash your hands once or twice
Could take twenty five trips
And some will stay by

Makes me sick, please look beneath your cuticles
How could you leave that beneath your nails? Ick
Looks like somethin' burst, just like somethin' burst
When your hands were inside
And left that grease deep beneath your cuticles, not right
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (ho-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh, not right)
Oh-oh-oh-oh (dirt left beneath)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (stuck beneath)
Oh-oh-oh-oh (I-ee-I-I-I-I-I)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (not right)
I-ee-I-I-I-I-I-I (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

I'm gonna hold you down to scrub and scour
'Til both your hands sparkle, get that scunge out
Stop your moanin', moanin', know what I say
You pedant, should fear how hard I'll scrub so

Don't you tell me "not beneath my cuticles
Just the nails, see?" First off, I'm not stupid
I'm aware of words, so aware of words
And second: they both have grime
Once again, please clean beneath your cuticles, soon-like
Oh-oh-oh-oh (oh-oh, oh-oh)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (oh-ho-oh-oh-oh-ho-oh-oh-oh-oh, quick-like)
Oh-oh-oh-oh (clean beneath your cuticles)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (oh, not right)
Oh-oh-oh-oh (to be covered in that sludge, yuck, gross)
So I beg (I beg), please clean beneath your cuticles, soon-like

In case anyone was wondering, the pedant bit at the end wasn't inspired by me realising a mistake two-third's through writing (as has happened before). I decided to check the definition of "cuticle" before writing began to check what it meant, and thus came up with the pedant bit right then in a flash of inspiration.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 2

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 4   1
 5   1

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