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Song Parodies -> "It Ain't Free"

Original Song Title:

"It Ain't Me"

Original Performer:

Kygo & Selena Gomez

Parody Song Title:

"It Ain't Free"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Online games are tricksy. They lure you in with whimsy and wonder and copious amounts of bullets, but then the hidden charges start rolling in...
I've got a beef with these friggin' hidden fees
Always charge me hourly, man, I have had enough
All hidden in the lines one must magnify to find
Why must playin' games online always have this stuff?
No, I don't really know if it's fixed or if it's slowin'
Cause I know I'd never load this up if I had known

Why must you charge for ev'ry armour set I'm hoardin'?
For each restart when I get blown to smithereens?
You get my bucks each time I load the map on which I'll explode
You dare to charge? None of my blogs gave out a warnin'
It ain't free

No, no, ah-ah, hourly, no, no, ah-ah, hidden fees
If it's slow, I-I, I know, if it's slow, I-I, it ain't free
No, no, ah-ah, hourly, no, no, ah-ah, hidden fees
If it's slow, I-I, I know, if it's slow, I-I, it ain't free
No, no, ah-ah, hourly, no, no, ah-ah, hidden fees
If it's slow, I-I, I know, if it's slow, I-I, it ain't free
No, no, ah-ah, hourly, no, no, ah-ah, hidden fees
If it's slow, I-I, I know, if it's slow, I-I, it ain't free

I've had this beef since they first pulled this on me
When they tried to force bills on me for each level up
Wish I could leave this sick money-grubbin' industry
But with all these hooks in me, I find that's pretty tough

I hate the charge for ev'ry random prick that spawns in
It's such a farce, too many bucks to block 'em, geez
Base game is fun, can't say it blows just because of the cash flow
Still hate the charge that they spring on you with no warnin'
It ain't free, no, no
It ain't free, no, no
It ain't free, no, no
Don't think they'll stop, so I'll take out more loans next mornin'
It ain't free

No, no, ah-ah, hourly, no, no, ah-ah, hidden fees
If it's slow, I-I, I know, if it's slow, I-I, it ain't free
No, no, ah-ah, hourly, no, no, ah-ah, hidden fees (it ain't free)
If it's slow, I-I, I know, if it's slow, I-I, ah-ah-ooh-ooh
No, no, ah-ah, hourly, no, no, ah-ah, hidden fees (ah-ah-ooh-ooh)
If it's slow, I-I, I know, if it's slow, I-I, it ain't free (ah-ah-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
No, no, ah-ah, hourly, no, no, ah-ah, hidden fees (ah-ooh-ooh-ah-ah-ah-oh-oh)
If it's slow, I-I, I know, if it's slow, I-I, it ain't free
No, no, ah-ah, hourly, no, no, ah-ah, hidden fees
If it's slow, I-I, I know, if it's slow, I-I, it ain't free
No, no, no, no-no, hourly, no, no, no, no-no, hidden fees
If it's slow, I-I, I know, if it's slow, I-I, it ain't free

This was going to be about customers who try to get something for free when the item fails to scan, but I already ragged on shitty customers yesterday...and that was originally gonna be about mould until I realised that I'd done a parody about stains the previous day. Sometimes planning out parody titles in advance doesn't always work.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

E.S. Blofeld - June 08, 2018 - Report this comment
You never cease to come up with original and funny ideas. Extra respect to you for using modern pop songs- we need more people parodying what’s currently trending! 555

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