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Song Parodies -> "Worst Hiss"

Original Song Title:

"First Kiss"

Original Performer:

Kid Rock

Parody Song Title:

"Worst Hiss"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

No offense to Kid Rock but we heard this nostalgic love story a million times from a million artists but how many songs have you heard about a jungle trek going wrong and getting eaten by a massive python? None because this isn't recorded yet but here's the lyrics!
In the jungle look down into every bush
Massive pythons will have you crushed
They slither and turn you into poo
Some mean Burmese down there in the muck
Makes you lunch, Down his throat you’re sucked
Don’t you dare bump him or you’re his food

Watch out for snakes when they’re peeved they will not frown
They’ll eat an antelope up and gulp a monkey down

Their warning signage is the worst hiss
You’re amazed when they munched your sis
So scary as they eat you whole
Fangs are barring better stop your stroll
Not funny and they’re not your friend
Like Nagini, Voldemort’s pet
Oh how I wish that I never took this hike
Went to London instead

Should be smarter thinking the Amazon
Would be fun now a snake’s grub
They’re a danger crawling above you, dude
In trees they’re a threat cause you’re on their plate
Man it seems like we can’t get away
In Hong Kong and Madagascar too

You’ll see them thriving and their scales are all brown
You’d better carry a club or you’ll be shoveled down

Cause they’re designed mean heard the worst hiss
Trees you’ll climb still they aren't dismissed
So heavy, Largest ratio
And deadly those reptiles grow
Their body can really bend
A machete better have on hand
Oh how I wish that I never took this hike

Squeezed a heifer with an intense pressured hug
Farmers pestered cause their farm’s being chomped
That tongue flickers when outside their head
One look and a scream and we’d both be dead

Yeah, yeah
Sss, sss, sss

We’ll run and hide while taking cover
This snake’s a fright it makes me shudder
And hope that maybe this gun we shoot (gun we shoot)
Will stop this guy from having us chewed!!!

We’re in a bind, We heard the worst hiss
It’s insane with its venom spit
So sweaty, Clothes are really soaked
In its belly is right where we’ll go
Won’t gum me its fangs will shred
Cause I’m fleshy that large beast I fed
Oh how I wish that I didn't grab this vine
Now that is my lament
It was an accident
It was not what I meant
Should have stayed in my tent
It’s no simple vine that snake’s how I died

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   1
 3   4
 4   2
 5   6

User Comments

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AFW - April 17, 2015 - Report this comment
I only like Pythons named Monty..scary tale, here
Hank - April 18, 2015 - Report this comment
Max Power - May 03, 2015 - Report this comment
They can be sssssscary, especially when you'' never know which ones can quickly kill you.
Abbott Skelding - May 05, 2015 - Report this comment
Well done...although I wish more of it was after the "feeding". Most of it was just a warning...needs more action!
Agrimorfee - May 05, 2015 - Report this comment
This isn't a strong effort from you, Matty, sorry. It jumps back and forth between herpetological discussion and the guy getting getting eaten rather confusingly. Sometimes you talk about venomous snakes, sometimes about pythons that squeeze their prey...couldn't your singer have run away quickly? The pacing was stumbly here and there, too.
bobpiecheese - May 05, 2015 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Pretty good stuff, but I agree with Agri in that it needed a tighter focus. Also, your wording was a bit odd in places ("a machete better have on hand" for example).
Blaydeman - May 07, 2015 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I was thinking the same things as TCOP and Aggy. For me this one was a little to unfocused. It couldn't really get into the "story" because it was so scattered. Some of the phraseology was awkward as well, which made it even harder to follow. This one just really needs a little cohesion IMO. However, it reminds me so much of the Anaconda movies that, I need to give you some bonus points (I love those movies, well at least the first 2).

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