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Song Parodies -> "Tiny Pool (Tank)"

Original Song Title:

"Swimming Pools (Drank)"

Original Performer:

Kendrick Lamar

Parody Song Title:

"Tiny Pool (Tank)"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Fish need tanks of a certain size to live in. This is something one should know before owning any fish, but some people miss the memo...
That's your tank? Real small tank
Tiny tank, too-small tank
Swap that tank, piss-ant tank
Change it, tank, hate it, tank

Now I know that this is the first time I've been to your apartment
And it's a real big breach of tact to accuse you of piscine harmin'
But this is still a damn big deal, it shouldn't be so hard to follow
So the blank look upon your face is not a good sign, it's a problem
Given your fish no room to move 'round in a circle, halt zooms
What that'll do will stunt their growth, awful stuff, but that ain't all, dude
Atrophies their muscles, gives 'em spine deformities
Do you get why I'm gettin' pissed? Poor claustrophobic fishies

Sure, it's not a good icebreaker but it's all that I've got
Once I saw the pitiful aquatic plot
Gave your fish a tiny pool, I'm surprised that they're alive in it
Pool is so limited, not likin' it
Already forgotten why I came to your spot
Play some games? Got some sports to watch?
Who cares? That tiny pool for your fishies is a slight, fix it
Poo-pool's too diminished, I'm not likin' it

Your fish tank's a small tank
Puny tank, dinky tank
Micro tank, petite tank
Get it, Frank? Change it, thanks

Okay, I'm havin' a closer look, now I'm offended
This'd be pretty small for only one of the fish for which it is intended
But you've got a whole school or so, that's definitively what is not recommended
Can see that they're slodgin' around with a sound that's the opposite of fine and splendid
And what is all this that I spy? I see a whole ton of shite
Castles and old divin' helmets and other weird decorations, this is not a good sight
Whole gift shop's stock is inside, how can you see this as right? So transparently
That ev'ry damn stupid thing one could be doin' is what you've been doin', you dope, kinda shocked that it's clean

More things that I could be bitchin' 'bout but here's where I'm stuck
About as much as 'em with all of that crud
Gave your fish a tiny pool, way more than you're s'pposed to find in it
Pool is real limited, not likin' it
Then you gave 'em garbage 'cause I guess that you're scum
Dumb as fish are, they know this sucks
Don't want a tiny pool, they want space enough to fly in it
Poo-pool that you've given 'em is shite, ditch it

Your fish tank's a small tank
Itsy tank, bitsy tank
Teeny tank, weeny tank
Hate it, Frank, change it, thanks

Not right, don't like that
Big problem and you just mock that
Laugh now? You big twat
Real awful, you don't give one crap
Not right, don't like that
You're mockin' the way that I've snapped
"Your brow looks so sad"
You're awful, you need to stop that

How were you sold all these fish? I bet you lied a whole lot
'Cause I know that any sane and proper shop
Wouldn't give a tiny pool for whatever fish you'd buy with it
Pool should be bigger not a tiny pit
I could call a copper but I think that I'll not
There's no lesson learned for the clot
Who picked a tiny pool for his pets, shrug if they die in it
Poo-pool isn't big, you should be tryin' it

Your fish tank's a small tank
Runty tank, teensy tank
"Humble" tank? "Modest" tank?
Save it, Frank, change it, thanks

Frank (pool is too little-little), Frank (try swimmin'-in'-in), Frank
No-no need for cop-op-op-ops (aw, damn), hard to explain-plain-plain (Frank)
Kinda strange, you see (yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah, I got-ot-ot-ot-ot)
Kinda (pool made for swimmin') strange, you see (for a ti-i-i-iny twit)

All my, all my, all my, all my long-ass life, I've dealt with many kinds of failure
People who've held up trains or slurred all day or threw rocks at my familiar
Whatever the evil deed, it's my excuse to then unleash
All of the power in a shower of pure magic energy
After it is done, it's so easy to then alter this fraught reality
So no-one notices the prat who has been zapped away by me
I'll boost the little tank up, remove all of the junk, give it to a good bud
Who loves fish, but first increase the fish number by one

This is almost the album version, only missing the skit at the end. Didn't feel the need to do that part, but I'd imagine that it'd be replaced by the fish abuser pitifully begging to not be turned into a fish to no avail.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 32

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 4   0
 5   30

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