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Song Parodies -> "Ben Stein"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Kelly Clarkson

Parody Song Title:

"Ben Stein"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Okay, I defend anyone's right to like him. I just can't stand the guy. That monotone delivery is boring and annoying to me. For those of you who don't know who Ben Stein is, here's a link to get yourself acquainted: . I reference his role in "Ferris Bueller" and also to his game show "Win Ben Stein's Money". Ugh, just talking about him makes me want to hit myself repeatedly with a large book.
Ugh, ew…

Verse 1: Makes me gag
My screen invaded by unbearable gall
Multiply squint eyes plus tone that is as flat as a wall
You’re so boring! Will you fin’lly figure that out?
You won’t!

Chorus: Yeah I got it the first time
Please don’t call that a punch line
Cuz I can’t stand you Ben Stein
Cuz I know dull plus dull equals you
Dull plus dull equals you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Dull plus dull equals you, you…

Verse 2: Even had the nerve to think you’re smart and make it a game
Here’s the thing, you lose so what, you still got payed either way
You say I’m jealous!? Cuz you’re zealous!
Is that supposed to be hum’rous!?
Oh yeah!

Chorus: I didn’t like you the first time
You’re not deadpan you’re flat-lined
Know you think you’re some Einstein
You should know bull plus bull equals you
Bull plus bull equals you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Bull plus bull equals you! You…

Bridge: All your deliveries suck!
A dozen film travesties yuck!
The “Bueller” thing’s why you are famous
So congrats that’s all, yeah congrats that’s all!

Verse 3: You can keep thinking you’re fine
Living life near the spotlight
How have you lasted so long?
Cuz don’t we know dull plus dull equals you?
Equals you! Yeah!

Chorus: Please Ben get out the limelight
Then open up your eyes
No one’s chanting for Ben Stein
Cuz we know dull plus dull equals you
Dull plus dull equals you…

Outro: You can’t act
Your skills are rivaled by the cast of Twilight
Multiply the fact you’re older and your face paralyzed
Though she may be no Ben Stein, but it’s close
Stein plus rock is K-Stew
Oh K-Stew…
September 16, 2013. Please rate and COMMENT! If you liked this, become a fan and follow me on Facebook: or Twitter: where you can get all your Blaydeman news updates and new releases the instant they're posted! P.S. K-Stew stands for Kristin Stewart if you didn't know ;)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Matthias - September 17, 2013 - Report this comment
Anti-celebrity parodies are pretty tough to pull off because you really need to list some good reasons why you don't like the person you're bashing and I really only got a couple out of this one such as the fact that you hate his deadpan delivery and the fact that he thinks he's intelligent while he's really not. I was able to pull it off with my Anti-Bono parody I think because Bono gives you so much to work with and I just made it a general parody against a guy who's too much in love with himself. If you listed a few more reasons why you hate him and even talked about a few more of his movies and that "Dry Eyes" commercial that was pretty huge then you might have had a case but this one just kinda flat-lined.
Blaydeman - September 17, 2013 - Report this comment
Matty- I definitely see what you're saying, but I didn't want to get too specific because if I did people who are unfamiliar with Ben Stein would completely miss out on the joke. So I generalized ti a bit. I mean who wouldn't hate a guy who is as dull as a box of rocks, thinks he's really smart and famous, and is over extremely pompous. Plus gained most of his popularity for ONE LINE! That's outrageous!
Abbott Skelding - September 18, 2013 - Report this comment
I really have no opinion of Mr. Stein...although I really liked "Win Ben Steins Money". Though I can understand your frustration with him, I have to side with Matty on this was kind of like beating a dead horse toward the end. Nice work though!
Peter Andersson - September 21, 2013 - Report this comment
Without the Wikipedia link I would have been like duuh from line one - now thanks to it I actually recognize his face, but still the jokes and references are over my head. Sorry!
Agrimorfee - September 29, 2013 - Report this comment
That is the was very well-done, but very few (unhip)people know Ben Stein by name (if not his voice or face)
Max Power - September 30, 2013 - Report this comment
His monotone is the reason why I still remember him, that eye drop commercial doesn't help.
bobpiecheese - September 30, 2013 - Report this comment
(Artistry) This is the trouble with parodies about very specific topics: too many references and people won't get it, not enough and people still won't get it. I've only seen Ben Stein in two things (The Mask and Fairly Odd Parents) and I think the idea is the contrast between his deadpan delivery and the mania of everyone else. I think. Anyway, yeah, this was fairly well written, you kinda wrote yourself into a corner.

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