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Song Parodies -> "C.L.O.W."

Original Song Title:

"Blow"

Original Performer:

Ke$ha

Parody Song Title:

"C.L.O.W."

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

This will be hard to understand unless you understand milspeak. What JAB can do with artistry I can surpass in milspeak. All I can say about this parody is it's about taking out an armored target (MBT) at a very long distance using the C.L.O.W. 20-0 which is NOT a sniper weapon, but something new. The acronym stands for Controlled Low-Observable Weapon 20,000m- Zero error probability. Mobiles are NOT Brit cellphones here, but military air assets. HVAC is Hyper-Velocity Accelerator Chamber and KKV is Kinetic-Kill Vehicle. SAT is Satellite and DOTs are Desired Optimal Trackers (which are made up of SRs-static relays in many forms). SP is Special Protection (aka Diffussors, Disruptors, Dazzlers, IR scramblers, Active Armor, etc...). KE is Kinetic Energy and Hellfires are ATG missiles! Have fun reading and trying to follow :)
[Mobiles]
Check

Target masked, he's not appearing
We got a SAT feed, no visual need
Align the DOTs, do it quickly
We've got him set-up, with a KKV

It's time to kill the mark and take the SP out
(Now it's down to the)
In sight, it's taking over, 'til he's taken down

Now it's down to the C.L.O.W. 20-0
C.L.O.W. 20-0
(Now it's down to the)

Now it's down to the C.L.O.W. 20-0
C.L.O.W. 20-0
(Now it's down to the)

Now it's down to the C.L.O.W. 20-0
C.L.O.W. 20-0
(Now it's down to the)

Now it's down to the C.L.O.W. 20-0
C.L.O.W. 20-0
(Now it's down to the)

Now what? Shoot! From HVAC
Accelerating
Phenomenal speed
SRs in place, long corridor
KE burn trips
The ringlet motors
No rewind, count in time, signal's running route
(Now it's down to the)
Image frame-by-frame, range extending out

Now it's down to the C.L.O.W. 20-0
C.L.O.W. 20-0

Now it's down to the C.L.O.W. 20-0
C.L.O.W. 20-0

Now it's down to the C.L.O.W. 20-0
C.L.O.W. 20-0

Now it's down to the C.L.O.W. 20-0
C.L.O.W. 20-0

So, so, so, so insane, so insane
Real hard hitter, intense core-det pain
Puts Hellfires to shame, tiny, puts Hellfires to shame
So, so, so, so insane, so insane
Real hard hitter, intense core-det pain
Puts Hellfires to shame, tiny, puts Hellfires to shame

It has taken over...
A perfect hit today...

Now it's down to the C.L.O.W. 20-0
C.L.O.W. 20-0

Now it's down to the C.L.O.W. 20-0
C.L.O.W. 20-0

Now it's down to the C.L.O.W. 20-0
C.L.O.W. 20-0

Now it's down to the C.L.O.W. 20-0
C.L.O.W. 20-0

Now watch as it explodes!!!

[Target obliterated]



Note: although I used the correct acronym for the weapon, in the song it would sound like CLOW twenty-oh, not C-L-O-W twenty oh! I was afraid that using CLOW would sound like a rhyme with cow not blow. Also, not all tech is explained here. I used the US acronym for this weapon and not its German name. It is in development by R-AG and will be sold to Israel and Japan. IOC, maybe 2015!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   4
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 4
 

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