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Song Parodies -> "Essentials"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Justin Bieber ft. Quavo

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Part of my "Something to Believe In" self-challenge. I'm going on a trip and I'm bringing...uh...hang on...I know I'm supposed to bring the important things...which are...shit...
Packin' luggage to escape this winter
Makes me wonder what is and ain't filler
What will fit inside of my rental?
Yeah, what really counts as essential?
Sittin' here thinkin', damper on my excitement
What should I bring with me? What should get ditched?
New to this, lack the fundamentals
Just know I should bring the essentials

Of course, I've got socks and pants, I'll take a few
What's a vacation without spares once they're stained with booze?
Should it be eight or just two?
This is what my poor brain must muse
Okay, one pair of shades, stop the rays blindin' me
What comes next? Gotta stock up on A+ sunscreen
This may seem basic, it's true
But that's the base stuff, the rest? I'm screwed (don't know how to do this)

Got my luggage, must escape this winter
What's important? What's not? What is filler?
Tempted to bring my own utensils
Not sure if they count as essential
Ones at the hotel, they might suck, that plastic shit
How well have they been cleaned? Could be half grit
It's improv on the fundamentals
Just know I should bring the essentials

How many packs of cards do I need to be useful?
It's splittin' hairs, doubt even one would be crucial
But if there's none, be wishin' for a pack now
When the beach becomes closed, drives me mad now
Can't bring much, might count as cargo
Price is steep, not gonna borrow
It'll work out to be not worth the sorrow
Of debt to see I didn't want that guitar

Sortin' luggage to escape this winter
What stuff's vital? What stuff is just filler?
So much situation potential
Hard to tell what's really essential
It's my first time goin' abroad all by myself (single)
Last time I was a tween so mum would help (helpful)
But now with no help from parentals (yeah, yeah)
It's up to me to sort essentials (oh no)

Have more need for cleansin' stuff than lead pencils (need that)
Such a simple goal, no dilemma so existential ('stential)
How much toothpaste? I'm frettin' (whoo) that I'll be missin'
Somethin' completely damn basic ('pletely) by thinkin' about my limits (oh)
I'll feel a dope, a dipshit (dope) and also be so livid (so)
If my frettin' (frettin') 'bout my soap limit (soap)
Blanks the one thing (whoo) that I totally will need (one thing)
I'll have unpacked my shit and bam: where are my undies (damn it, damn it)?

Stupid luggage, must escape this winter (cold winter)
Can't do that until I've ditched the filler (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Throwin' things 'round, not bein' gentle (I'm pissed)
Too focused on what's not essential (yeah-eah)
I'm madly wrenchin' things right out, shove 'em back in (it's true)
The plane is due to leave at about 10 (uh-huh)
And it's 9 o'clock, I should mention (should mention)
What the hell are my true essentials (need the essentials)?

What are they? Wish I knew

You know what's not essential? This song. Seriously, cookie-cutter beat, lyrics that don't make sense but not in a fun way (Bieber never actually says what his intentions are, just that his SO is hot and amazing and an...asset, charming) and a Quavo guest verse long after anyone gave a shit about the Migos. What is the point of this thing?!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

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