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Song Parodies -> "Prison Cell"

Original Song Title:

"Mistletoe"

Original Performer:

Justin Bieber

Parody Song Title:

"Prison Cell"

Parody Written by:

Matthias

The Lyrics

Some biting satire on a guy who really deserves some biting satire not for simply making the worst Christmas song of all time but for oh so many more reasons...
We've all done terrible crimes to be here
Raced through the streets while wasted on beer
The fire is blazing, Torched the Taco Bell
That's why I'm here in this Prison Cell

My pal Ludacris said my bail he'd pay
Then I sprayed some cop with my can of mace
While I was swaying from all the coke I smelled
That's why I'm back in this Prison Cell

With Bruce... Cellmate's named Bruce
Locked room... Hate this locked room
I'm screwed... Here in this prison cell

Everyone's saying that I should retire
Twitter posting: "I'm the hottest guy"
Youtube's showing this dumb hoax, I'm killed
I'm still hanging in this Prison Cell

Shouldn't of beat up that hooker last night
My brain's frying cause on Meth I'm high
Then I stole an Ambulance and yelled
"You can't shove me in your Prison Cell!"

I'm cute... Too white and cute
Thugs hoot... Hear them all hoot
Soap's loose... Stuck in this Prison Cell

They're crude... Guys are so crude
I'll brood... Seeing me brood
Unglued... Crazed in this Prison Cell

Spent bucks...
Usher freed me from these bars
So I can be back on the charts
Now the things I do aren't illegal

Oh whoops!
Went drinking with Miley (Went drinking with Miley)
Selena I'm drunk dialing
"You b*tch suck my d*ck!"
Then I'm back here in the slammer!

We've all done such terrible crimes to be here
My tunes and beats have molested ears
I should be singing for teen Southern Belles
But I'mma be here in this Prison Cell

Even in the hoosegow I keep getting paid
Can't even flop with a ball and chain
Even Satan loves me way down in Hell
I will tour there after this Prison Cell

I'm doomed... Swear that I'm doomed
This tomb... Just like a tomb
In gloom here in my Prison Cell

Chug brew... Drink toilet brew
Said Eww... What can I do?
I'll spew here in my Prison Cell
Here in my Prison Cell

Chucked me deep within this Prison Cell
No Beliebers here, Must save myself... Oh no
Oh, oh, Noooo

Dropped the soap here in this Prison Cell
Won't bend cause I would rather smell... No, no
Oh, oh, Noooo

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   7
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - March 09, 2014 - Report this comment
For a moment or two, I thought this was going for a fictitious character, but then you id'd the Bieber in it, making it funnier. Something about that little trick added to it. It's a shame none of this (or Blaydeman's other parody in this Artistry Round "Chutes And Ladders") will have as much meaning to readers 2 years from now (tops).
bobpiecheese - March 11, 2014 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I prefer to think that Usher wouldn't pay Bieber's bail, he'd be too busy staring in the mirror thinking "My God...what have I done?". That said, great satire on a complete waste of space that I'm glad to say is currently not on the Billboard Hot 100. 555!
Baydeman - March 11, 2014 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I really dug this parody. It just grooved along so smoothly. Funny enough and good pacing. I loved the choruses! They were so chill, but very funny and good rhymes as well. This one was a lot of fun, Matty. Nice!
Max Power - March 11, 2014 - Report this comment
Gentlemen prefer blondes...Bieber looks feminine enough as it is even if his personality on the other hand isn't.
Abbott Skelding - March 11, 2014 - Report this comment
I love the idea that the Biebs goes to jail, gets released, and then drunk dials Selena Gomez to wind up back in the hoosegow (GREAT word choice). Nice work!
Max Power - October 03, 2017 - Report this comment
I thought it was going to be a cell phone pun but that works too.
bobpiecheese - October 03, 2017 - Report this comment
(Artistry...again) See above!

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