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Song Parodies -> "Morally"

Original Song Title:

"All Of Me"

Original Performer:

John Legend

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Part of my "Do What You Wanna Do" self-challenge. There's some douche-canoe playin' D&D like an asshole (as in "kill all the things" kind of asshole) and the DM ain't puttin' up with it at all. Enjoy!
How the hell haven't we kicked you out?
With the suggestions comin' out your mou-outh
Always propose killin'
Throat slittin', watch the heads roll 'round
Be fine if it was only once or twice
But each second you bring up stuff not ni-ice
Ethics are shitty, want to leave quickly
I might eat my dice
Your play-style it bothe-ers me, it's far from slight
No gain, see, cause I've stopped you each time

I'm morally abhorin' you
Just because their class is "witches"
Don't mean we should "kill those bitches"
Irks me morally, the hell is wrong with you?
Murder's your only solution
Hence your stock of Bull's Strength potions
You've pissed me off mo-o-o-orally
That's why I'm abho-o-o-orin' you

Not all NPCs are out to get you
Might make them do so if you keep this up, du-ude
Why did we let you come 'round?
You're known 'round for bein' a douche
Ev'ry campaign ends up screwed
Cause your brain's stuck in FPS mode, dude
Told you once, quit it, twice, zip it, but you continue
The quest-giver bothe-ers you, why must you smite?
Refrain, please 'fore I start fudgin' dice

Still morally abhorin' you
This month-long campaign, you've wrecked it
Rollin' damage ev'ry second
More than moral reasons you're apallin' dude
Drown out ev'ryone's suggestions
And the pizza tab, won't chip in
Your roleplaying's ba-a-a-alls, so please
Exit's down the ha-a-a-all, leave, dude

Cause you've ballsed up, dude, oh-oh-oh-oh
You're not Chaotic Evil, you dumbarse
Just read your character card

All morally abhorin' you
I'm the DM, you should listen
It's a game, but we're not children
And so morally you're quite apallin', dude
"I'm a paladin" you dumb git
No excuse for all your bullshit
If you don't play mo-o-o-orally
Revoked by the go-o-o-ods, it's true
You won't play mo-o-o-o-o-orally?
Then that's the damn po-o-o-oint of you?

Okay, so this song isn't as good as "Green Light", but I'm much happier with it being at number 3 on the Billboard Year-End then something like "Anaconda". Confession: the first thing I came up for this parody was the "morally abhorin' you" sub, and I didn't wanna give it up for nothin'.

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Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 4

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