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Song Parodies -> "Mustache"

Original Song Title:

"Price Tag"

Original Performer:

Jessie J

Parody Song Title:

"Mustache"

Parody Written by:

Abbott Skelding

The Lyrics

(feat. B.o.B.) I'm not gonna say that this is based on things that people have told me, but I don't try and grow a mustache anymore. (Also, the OS has an extra chorus at the end, I decided to leave it out.) Original Song
Okay
Listen up man
Inter-vention
It’s ugly!

There’s something on your face, isn’t right
D’ya spill your chocolate milk last night?
Rubbed your lip with dirt?
Try’n to draw attention
It looks real creepy when you smile
Hey man, it really looks so hideous
Starting to look hilarious
A catfish in disguise
People try to hide
Their laughter, but they have a hard time

Got three long hairs on the left
Thirty-seven more on the right
Can’t you see that, huh?!
It never will grow in right…

You’re looking kinda scruffy, scruffy, scruffy
Face is kinda fuzzy, fuzzy, fuzzy
You are not Yosemite Sam…
Forget about your mustache
Isn’t gonna (uh) cha-change cha-change
You should really, (yeah) sha-shave sha-shave
Never look like Borat
Just give up on your mustache

Just think about what Groucho Marx
Would say about your mustache farce
Grow hair under your nose, and Hulk Hogan knows
It doesn’t even look like you tried
You know who’s more manly? Swedish Chef
You can’t look like Sam Elliot
Freddie Mercury and Ron Jeremy
Can’t you see that that yours doesn’t look right?

Never will look like Tom Selleck
You won’t even look like Einstein
It is not that hard…
John Waters still got it right

You are no Wilford Brimley, Brimley, Brimley
You’re surely not a Dali, Dali, Dali
It looks much worse than a car crash
Just give up on the mustache
Giving me much (uh) g-grief g-grief
You look like a (yeah) p-peach p-peach
Let’s get some duct tape and
Rip off your puny mustache

Just lose the mustache
Burt Reynolds would laugh
Even Walt Disney’s
Wasn’t half bad
C’mon man, that Dale Earnhardt’s
Should be in the Hall
Oh man yours looks worse than Prince, man that’s really hard
And guess what, no Homer Simpson, but Neddy Flanders
There’s the guy on Pringles and both Mario Brothers!
Damn that Hitler, went and wrecked it for Chaplin
You won’t look like John Oats, Ron Burgandy, or even Gene Shalit
You are not Clark Gable or Frank Zappa
You’re not Lemme, and you’re never gonna be Ditka!
After three weeks, you’re only a tad scruffy
Here’s some shaving cream, please end my misery!

Want to look like Geraldo-aldo-aldo
More like Frida Kahlo-Kahlo-Kahlo
You’re just lookin’ kinda white trash
You’ll never grow a mustache
Won’t look like that (uh) Mark Twain, Mark Twain
Bringing my eyes (ahh!) p-pain p-pain
I’ll give you all my cash
Just give up on the mustache

Yeah yeah
Puh-lease just lose the mustache

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   1
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - April 29, 2013 - Report this comment
Thank you! Somebody else who isn't obsessed with the current mustache craze that's been going around lately. The bacon craze I can understand but the mustache one? Hell no. Mustaches are pretty ugly unless you are Chuck Norris shave it off!
Peter Andersson - April 29, 2013 - Report this comment
So there's a mustache craze in the US, huh? Thanks for the heads up, it'll probably grow over the ocean soon enough, making a d-day beaching on French women first before spreading over the European continent *shudders*. Great parody to a great OS to which I'd probably write a parody called "porn mag" if it wasn't for that it would never pass the censors.
Agrimorfee - May 05, 2013 - Report this comment
Your liptickler parody is a ribtickler. Any parody referencing Frida Kahlo AND Wilfred Brimley gets a special place in my heart.
Blaydeman - May 14, 2013 - Report this comment
(ABC) Pop culture reference galore!!!!!!!!!! And I LOVED EVERY ONE OF THEM! Especially Frida Kahlo. This is so frickin' funny! Some pacing stumbles, but I know from experience this song is kind of difficult. Great work Abbott!
bobpiecheese - May 14, 2013 - Report this comment
(ABC) A couple of the references went over my head, but that's not your fault, obviously. A couple of pacing errors, but like B-Man, I know from experience how tricky this song is (and both of ours reference the fact that Chaplin and Hitler had similar tashes...huh). Still absolutely hilarious despite all of what I just said, 555!
Max Power - May 14, 2013 - Report this comment
Mustache is like a hairy caterpiller crawling on your lip. Even tougher to shave off.
brightCAP - May 15, 2013 - Report this comment
Funny song and great references throughout! One of my favorite lines is: "Just think about what Groucho Marx, Would say about your mustache farce"

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