Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Broke My Hand"

Original Song Title:

"Hold My Hand"

Original Performer:

Jess Glynne

Parody Song Title:

"Broke My Hand"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2015 self-challenge. Overcompensating handshakes. They hurt!
Ev'ry time that I meet you I end up in real pain
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
Don't do it on purpose, man, but it still really grates
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
Say that you can't think of anything you've done? No way
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
It's the first thing you always do that's givin' me such strain
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
Handsha-akes are ni-ice, but you do the-em wro-o-ong, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Feels like you're tryna-a rip my hand ri-ight o-o-off, oh-oh-oh-oh

Nearly broke my ha-a-and
I swear you broke my ha-a-and
You really need to lea-earn how to shake hands with no-o awful creaks and cra-a-acks
That's not how handshakes work, you dope
Annoyin' as shit, why won't you sto-op i-it?
My knuckles won't twist in that way, halt i-it
I need workin' wrists, feel like they're po-oppi-in'
You always do this, feels like you broke my ha-a-and

When you grab my hand, it's like you don't want me to leave
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
Rotatin' my fingers way too many damn degrees
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
Even though I swear at you, you-ou just shrug at me (shru-ug at me-e-e)
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
As if you plain don't understand the reason why I scream (screa-ea-ea-eam)
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
Try to-o hide my-y hands as a la-ame do-o-odge, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
But you won't let me-e in without you-our ho-o-old, oh-oh-oh-oh

Almost broke my ha-a-and (ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah)
Swear that you broke my ha-a-and (ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah)
I kinda need that fo-or my life, bro, please stop cru-ushin' my bones to sa-a-and (ah-ah-ah)
Hand needs the structure of those bones
You're bein' a shit, you need to sto-op i-it
My appendages want you to halt i-it
The joints in my wrist are loudly po-oppi-in'
Why must you do this? Feels like you broke my ha-a-and

I wa-anna know
Why you must put on su-uch a show
Of strength, because it's la-ame, my fingers aren't a ga-ate
Of hard steel, you moro-o-on
Just let go-o of me
And let my little fi-inge-ers breathe
Know they don't do tha-at, ma-ate, it's hard to work my brai-ain
When the pain center's o-on, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Cause you broke my ha-a-and, hey, yeah-eah-eah-eah (ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah)
Shook and then broke my ha-and, ooh-oh-ooh, he-e-ey (ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah)
Not really, but it su-ucks when I can't eat any-y of the lunch we pla-a-anned (ah-ah-ah)
When my all fingers throb like so
You're takin' the piss, asshole, just sto-op i-it (oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh)
My fingers, you'll rip right off, so halt i-it (oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh)
I can't feel my wrist from all that po-oppi-in' (oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
I hate you for this, cause it feels like you broke my hand

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   1
 1
 1
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/2010s/jessglynne0.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 848