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Song Parodies -> "Broke My Hand"

Original Song Title:

"Hold My Hand"

Original Performer:

Jess Glynne

Parody Song Title:

"Broke My Hand"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2015 self-challenge. Overcompensating handshakes. They hurt!
Ev'ry time that I meet you I end up in real pain
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
Don't do it on purpose, man, but it still really grates
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
Say that you can't think of anything you've done? No way
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
It's the first thing you always do that's givin' me such strain
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
Handsha-akes are ni-ice, but you do the-em wro-o-ong, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Feels like you're tryna-a rip my hand ri-ight o-o-off, oh-oh-oh-oh

Nearly broke my ha-a-and
I swear you broke my ha-a-and
You really need to lea-earn how to shake hands with no-o awful creaks and cra-a-acks
That's not how handshakes work, you dope
Annoyin' as shit, why won't you sto-op i-it?
My knuckles won't twist in that way, halt i-it
I need workin' wrists, feel like they're po-oppi-in'
You always do this, feels like you broke my ha-a-and

When you grab my hand, it's like you don't want me to leave
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
Rotatin' my fingers way too many damn degrees
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
Even though I swear at you, you-ou just shrug at me (shru-ug at me-e-e)
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
As if you plain don't understand the reason why I scream (screa-ea-ea-eam)
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
Try to-o hide my-y hands as a la-ame do-o-odge, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
But you won't let me-e in without you-our ho-o-old, oh-oh-oh-oh

Almost broke my ha-a-and (ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah)
Swear that you broke my ha-a-and (ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah)
I kinda need that fo-or my life, bro, please stop cru-ushin' my bones to sa-a-and (ah-ah-ah)
Hand needs the structure of those bones
You're bein' a shit, you need to sto-op i-it
My appendages want you to halt i-it
The joints in my wrist are loudly po-oppi-in'
Why must you do this? Feels like you broke my ha-a-and

I wa-anna know
Why you must put on su-uch a show
Of strength, because it's la-ame, my fingers aren't a ga-ate
Of hard steel, you moro-o-on
Just let go-o of me
And let my little fi-inge-ers breathe
Know they don't do tha-at, ma-ate, it's hard to work my brai-ain
When the pain center's o-on, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Cause you broke my ha-a-and, hey, yeah-eah-eah-eah (ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah)
Shook and then broke my ha-and, ooh-oh-ooh, he-e-ey (ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah)
Not really, but it su-ucks when I can't eat any-y of the lunch we pla-a-anned (ah-ah-ah)
When my all fingers throb like so
You're takin' the piss, asshole, just sto-op i-it (oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh)
My fingers, you'll rip right off, so halt i-it (oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh)
I can't feel my wrist from all that po-oppi-in' (oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
I hate you for this, cause it feels like you broke my hand

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Total Votes: 1

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