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Song Parodies -> "Mystic"

Original Song Title:

"Lipstick"

Original Performer:

Jedward

Parody Song Title:

"Mystic"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

A takedown of phony fortune tellers...which I don't know if that's a thing in Australia, but they sure are in pop culture, which is good enough for me!
I got a problem with your stupid show
I'm not a dummy, won't fall for this, no
You claimin' that you're connected to spirits you've detected
The eyebrow that I've raised means "I don't think so"
Oh-oh, all your symbols are a mishmash
Oh-oh, 'bout six religions, they all clash, you're stupid
Oh-oh, your affected accent sure hurts
You jerk, you're no Roma, doesn't work, lame

You're just a mystic con, need to stop, da-da-dumb
I don't like mystic cons, you should stop cause you suck
A load of bollocks, bollocks, hey, hey, ey
Huge load of bollocks, bollocks, hey, hey, ey
Oh-oh, oh-oh

If it was free bullshit, I wouldn't mind
But your predictions cost a hefty price
Some awful CG illusions, small numbers at the conclusion
Your ad's a trick, the world should know, know, know, know
Oh-oh, toss your ball into the yard trash
Oh-oh, take off that stupid lookin' dress, it's awful
Oh-oh, your reactions are all rehearsed
You jerk, your bad actin' is the worst, lame

You're such a mystic con, needs to stop, da-da-dumb
An awful mystic con, you should stop cause you suck
A load of bollocks, bollocks, hey, hey, ey
It's total bollocks, bollocks, hey, hey, ey
Dude, you're a mystic con, that should stop, da-da-dumb
A heinous mystic con, have to stop cause you suck
A load of bollocks, bollocks, hey, hey, ey
It's utter bollocks, bollocks, hey

And all the nonsense that you say, say, say
Isn't original, that's lame, lame, lame
Newspaper horoscopes contained, -tained, -tained
The friggin' same words next to the comics
That's how I noticed, lame

The worst damn mystic con, come on, stop, da-da-dumb
A heinous mystic con, you should stop cause you suck
A load of bollocks, bollocks, hey, hey, ey
It's Grade-A bollocks, bollocks, hey, hey, ey
Know you're a mystic con, which should stop, da-da-dumb
A blatant mystic con, have to stop cause you suck
A load of bollocks, bollocks, hey, hey, ey
Obvious bollocks, bollocks, hey, hey, ey

Need to stop, need to stop, dumb-da-dumb-da-dumb-da-dumb
Please, just stop, please just stop, dumb-da-dumb-da-dumb-da-dumb
Cause you suck, cause you suck, dumb-da-dumb-da-dumb-da-dumb
Really suck, really suck, suck, suck, suck, suck

I didn't think that "mishmash" would clear my spell-check so I put a hyphen in there...whereupon the red squiggle of doom prompted me to google my hyphenated variation which showed that the hyphen-less version was the correct one. Weird.

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - November 13, 2017 - Report this comment
Hello T-Cop! Thank you for introducing me to this band and song it seems like a fun one to parody!

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