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Song Parodies -> "Lined Tan"

Original Song Title:

"Cheyenne"

Original Performer:

Jason Derulo

Parody Song Title:

"Lined Tan"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2015 self-challenge. Tan lines! Sometimes sexy, sometimes awkward...this falls into the latter.
Lined ta-a-a-an
Lined ta-a-a-a-a-a-an

Ev'ry time I come home from my latest long vacation
I find that beach time's to be regretted
Uh, might've had quite a ball with a-all of my cool surf wa-avin', uh
But though I've covered it, people just wo-on't sto-op
Starin' at tone divisions on me, wo-on't stop no-ow

My skin's divi-ided, bu-uddy
Betwee-een bronze and bright white because
I spent way too-oo long in the ho-ot su-un
It's not surpri-isin', bu-uddy
But I-I'm still gettin' riled because
It kinda drai-ains dry all of the-e fu-un
Of bein' right under the su-u-un
When people stare right at my bu-u-uns
To try and find more lines, not fu-u-un
Unwelcome present from the su-u-u-un
Li-ined tan

Random assholes actin' ru-ude, dissin' the line pla-aceme-ent
Didn't mean to get tanned, so it's uneve-e-en (e-eve-en)
All those sugge-estions for tanni-in' butter, I ha-ate i-i-it (bu-uddy-y)
Cause I don't give a shit, but they still wo-on't (wo-on't) sto-op (sto-op)
Raggin' on me the whole day, no they wo-on't (wo-on't) sto-o-o-o-op no-ow (whoo)

Wish I could hi-ide it, bu-uddy
But the-e weather's still fairly warm
I'd bet they'd stri-ip me if I wra-apped u-up (lined ta-a-a-a-an)
Not that exci-itin' (-citin'), bu-uddy (buddy)
Not e-even the lines from my thongs
Don't mean g-stri-ing, man, I mean fli-ip-flo-ops
If I knew all these pricks would bu-u-ug
Me constantly for my tan, bu-u-ud
I never woulda let the su-u-un
Turn my skin brown, because this su-u-u-ucks
Lined ta-a-a-an
Lined ta-a-a-a-a-a-an
Lined ta-a-a-an
Lined ta-a-a-a-a-a-an

No, they wo-on't stop
Showin' me their own dumb tans, no they wo-o-o-o-o-o-o-on't sto-op no-o-o-o-ow

Look, I don't li-ike it (oh), bu-uddy (oh, bu-uddy)
When you-ou show me your two-toned butt (whoo-ooh-ooh)
Ruinin' (ha) my-y good thoughts of the-e su-un (whoo-ooh-ooh)
Tell me the ti-imin' (te-ell me-e), bu-uddy (bu-uddy-y-y-y)
Of whe-en the lines will fade because (hate these dou-ou-ou-ou-ouche-es)
Then these jerks wi-ill stop bein' su-uch bu-utts (oh, oh-oh)
I love the feelin' of the su-u-un (lined ta-a-a-an)
The consequences aren't so fu-un
If no-one cared, I wouldn't, bu-u-ut (lined ta-a-a-a-a-a-an)
They crowd around and poke my bu-u-utt
Regrettin' bein' in the su-u-un (lined ta-a-a-an, whoo)
Next time, I'll show up in the bu-uff (ooh-ooh-ooh)
That's what they want, if they rebu-u-uff (lined ta-a-a-a-a-a-an)
Maybe the damn hint will be su-u-unk
Li-ined tan

holy shit this is a fantastic song why wasn't it a hit goddamnit

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