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Song Parodies -> "What If"

Original Song Title:

"What If"

Original Performer:

Jason Derulo

Parody Song Title:

"What If"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Wherein a man asks all the important questions on his mind...important to him, at least...
What if?
What if life was all askew?
And "standard" was "surreal"?
What if?

Picture burger buns
In a ninja star-like shape, uh
I see pigs with flower stems
In the house like it's commonplace
It overworks my little brain
To think of pants that are cream glazed
I know that this all sounds crazy
But I still won't refrain

Think of cats, small cats whose tails are rulers, so
And that's just the bare tip of how my mind goes
So I'mma say doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo
Maybe, what if?
We all can say doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo
Maybe, what if (what if)?
What if (what if)?
What if (what if)?
What if? Yeah

Picture tiny Humvees
Smaller than a chicken wing (roasted chicken wing)
But get this: they've got rocket jets
And tiny pincers to bite knees (oh-oh-oh-oh)
They'd spawn out of cow armpits
Do they have those? Oh, who cares? Not me
Cause the concept sounds crazy
And to me, those are great

Think of bats (yes, bats), bats that hate computers, so
They eat all the keys right up, stop them with crows
So I'mma say doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo
Maybe, what if?
We all can say doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo
Maybe, what if?

Hear those plastic buckets sing? That's cause they're only
In my stupid head, you see
Oh, and what if cars had boobs and what if you had three hands?
Tell me, what's the problem with me thinkin' stuff?
What if (what if)?
What if (what if)?
What if, oh-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh

Think of ants, ants excel at sutures, bro
Cause I want them as my buds, sounds cool, you know?
So I'mma say doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo
Maybe, what if?
We all can say doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo (yeah)
Maybe, what if?
Think of hats (green hats), hats that are (ooh-ooh-ooh) maths tutors, so
No-one's dumb, that would not suck to me, no joke (thinkin' oh-oh-oh-oh)
So I'mma say doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo (doo-doo-doo-doo-ooh-ooh)
Maybe, what if?
We all can say doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo
Maybe, what if?

Had a thought to make this about the Marvel Comic series "What If?" but I decided not to. No elaborate reasoning like so many other rejected parody ideas of mine, I just decided against it.

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