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Song Parodies -> "Ramsay"

Original Song Title:

"Fancy"

Original Performer:

Iggy Azalea

Parody Song Title:

"Ramsay"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Do What You Wanna Do" self-challenge. This is my tribute to Gordon Ramsay. And by "tribute" I mean "condense every single angry rant he's ever done into about 3 minutes". Because why not, honestly. Enjoy!
First thing's first, in my kitchen (kitchen)
Need to work as a team, no friction (want no friction)
If I see no co-operation
I will smack you down like I'd do a plate of raw chicken (right, right)
Don't care if you think you're hot shit (fuck)
That won't cut it if you burn the damn fish (yeah)
Fuckin' steak, fuckin' goose, fuckin' pricks
Not supposed to saute scallops in a pan non-stick (you're a twit)
Swearin' up a storm, because I'm bloody mad (censored)
Not hard to see why, you're actin' like twats (what?)
Beef wellingtons don't look like that
Wouldn't feed that to a damn cat

I'm Chef Ramsay
And you fuckin' blo-ow
Tongs fly near my face
I don't even flinch, you know
I'm Chef Ramsay
Not too hard a cho-ore
To make sure the steak
Isn't ra-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-aw

Listen, smartarse, you're stupid, in all things you're useless
Customers rated your seafood as putrid
Far from a food artist, it looks like an armpit
Are you so stupid that you just fucked up the garnish?
And I don't care if I'm not nice, you don't deserve that, you're shite
Half of the time you're overcookin', and when I tell you, you whine
You didn't have enough time, not used to work on the line
And then you lie right to my face, got no patience for that shite
Oh fuck me, touch that, touch that, you fucked that, fuck that
So piss right off out my kitchen, stupid smug twat, smug twat
No, don't say "I really tried" that's a fuckin' load
In fact, you're probably one of the worst chefs I know

I'm Chef Ramsay
And your food is gro-oss
Don't try to shift blame
That bullshit won't fly, you know
I'm Chef Ramsay
Screwed up ev'ry cou-ourse
Half of it's burnt, mate
Half is ra-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-aw

If you did well
I wouldn't be such a rougharse
But I'm appalled
Ev'ry thing that you did was wrong
No, I could not give a stuff
How much you promise that you'll make it up
Cause your service still sucks
Stop the excuses and shut the fuck up
Now!

No fuckin' way, you're still crap
You get any worse than this and I'll snap
I know you fucked up, touch that
Feels like rubber, try again, you utter dumb twat
How long's it take to cook a duck?
Not as long as you're takin', fuckin' hurry up
You're a fuckin' donkey
Not only tastes but looks like fuckin' dung, right

I'm Chef Ramsay
You're a fuckin' do-ope
Convinced you're so great
When you're lowest of the low
I'm Chef Ramsay
Throat is gettin' so-ore
Yellin' in your face
That it's ra-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-aw

T-t-t-touch that, touch that, "I really tried"
You fucked that, fuck that, "I-I really tried"
Touch that, touch that, "I-I-I really tried"
I-it's ra-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-aw
T-t-t-touch that, touch that, "I really tried"
You fucked that, fuck that, "I-I really tried"
Touch that, touch that, "I-I-I really tried"
I-i-i-it's ra-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-aw

I gave my opinions on Iggy Iggs back in "Bad Hero" so I'll say this instead: this parody is me unleashing every restrained f-bomb I've had since it was pointed out that I was dropping them without any real care if it fit or not. Because it's Gordon Ramsay, all those f-bombs totally fit now.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.2
How Funny: 3.1
Overall Rating: 3.2

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 3
 3
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   4
 3
 4
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Abbott Skelding - September 17, 2016 - Report this comment
All the F-bombs were totally warranted, made for an awesome parody! I love Gordon Ramsay and this OS isn't that bad either (I like it a lot more after Al's parody of it). Great work!
Matthias - September 17, 2016 - Report this comment
This one was f*cking fantastic! Really good job embodying the character here!
Agrimorfee - September 17, 2016 - Report this comment
Yeah, this is in character so the profanity is totally excusable. Nasty but funny.

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