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Song Parodies -> "On Me, Please Dine"

Original Song Title:

"Bring Me to Life"

Original Performer:

Evanescence ft. Paul McCoy

Parody Song Title:

"On Me, Please Dine"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

I say, my dear fellow, it would be awfully decent of you if you would roast my flesh til it's golden brown and hey, where are you going?
I think I would taste really nice with some soy sauce
Won't you chow down with enough force to rip my biceps off?
It's all I want (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
To be inside somebody's gut
Consume my flesh until you leave me as bones

Eat me up
Open your mouth wide (please chew me up)
Take my meat inside (taste me)
Prove to me your bite's worse than your bark (eat me up)
Put me in a bun (please chew me up)
Rub me along your tongue (taste me)
This ain't innuendo, bite my butt

Place all my toes inside your mouth
Then clamp down your teeth (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Please, I won't scream when I'm your meal
On me, please dine

Eat me up
Open your jaws wide (please chew me up)
And put me inside (taste me)
I'd recommend red wine with my arse (eat me up)
Chew my skin right up (please chew me up)
Then lick up all my crumbs (taste me)
Stop actin' like this is a come-on
On me, please dine
Take a really huge bite upon my left thigh
On me, please dine

Have me tonight, save some for lunch (ooh-ooh-ooh)
For the next month, prob'bly
Total truth, I won't lie 'bout how I'm thick

In your eyes, all I can see is "you're a freak"
Well, wrong, you aren't, but I just have my certain needs
And since that's "turn myself into a feast"
I need someone else to satisfy me
Do I get off on bein' chomped? No way, arsehole
This "eat me" deal has jack-all to do with vore
On me, please dine (eat me up)

Pour salt on my hide (please chew me up)
Or not, if you'd like (taste me)
Cover me with carrots, kale or chard (eat me up)
Help me out here, bud (please chew me up)
Need you to do this, cause (taste me)
No-one else would know how to keep mum
On me, please dine
Other dudes who eat guys would tweet that shit, right (on me, please dine)
On me, please dine

Mmm...delicious long pork.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Peter Andersson - July 20, 2017 - Report this comment
As a devoted runner, when I die, I wouldn't mind being grinded down to minced meat, transported to Namibia, feed to some wild cheetah, and have one last indirect speedy PB while on the hunt for a dinner that would upset vegans - at least that's the reaction I get when I tell them, what have they got against Namibia?

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