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Song Parodies -> "I'm Not Too Brave"

Original Song Title:

"I'm Not Afraid"

Original Performer:

Eminem

Parody Song Title:

"I'm Not Too Brave"

Parody Written by:

Michael Whitman

The Lyrics

A tribute to Neville Longbottom.
I’m not too brave to take a stand

I wish somebody’d come take my hand

We’ll walk this road together, to kill Voldemort

Whatever weather, cold or warm

Just let you know that, Dumbledore ain't alone

Holla if you don’t feel goin down my road

(Intro)

Yeah, It’s been a fight…

I guess i had to go to Hogwarts to get to Harry's house

Now some of you might still be in Hogwarts

If you’re trying to get out, just follow someone else

theyll get you there

You can try and read my spells off of this paper before I say ‘em

But you won’t take the sting out before I say ‘em

Cause ain’t no way I can help you stop Draco from causing mayhem

When I say ‘em or do something I do it, I don’t give a Malfoy

What you think, I’m doing this for me, so Crucio the world

Feed it Bertie Bott's beans, it’s blasted up, everything’s stopping me

I’mma be what I forgot to be, without a doubt undoubtedly

And Slytherins lookin’ down on me I’m Evanesco’n down your balcony

No if ands or buts don’t try to ask Malfoy why or how can he

From Dumbledore down to the last Sirius album he’s still afraid and

Whether he’s battling, paid hourly

Until he bows out or he blows Malfoys guts
Whichever comes first, for better or worse

He’s married to the D.A., like a Ton Tongue Toffee for Christmas

His gift is a curse, forget Umbridge he’s got the urge

To pull his wand from the dirt and Expelliarmus the whole Universe

(Chorus)

Ok quit playin’ with the wand and shoot the spell

I shouldn’t have to wave my wand around for you to know it’s a spell

Malfoy said he was king, he lied through his teeth

For that stupefy your feelings, instead of getting crowned you’re getting capped

And to the fans, I know I have none, that’s crap

I promise to never go back to being brave, in fact

Let’s be honest, that last Bellatrix CD was “ehhhh”

Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground

Relax, I ain’t going back to that now

All I’m tryna say is get back, Avada Kedavra

Cause I ain’t playin’ around

There’s a thing called dueling and I don’t know how

I’m way too up to back down

But I think I’m still tryna figure out how to kill snape now

Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn’t

This black cloud’s still follow’s me around

But it’s time to exercise these DA memebers

These Death Eaters are doing jumping jacks now!

(Chorus)

(Bridge)

And I just can’t keep sittin’ this way

So starting today, I’m becomin’ more brave

I’m standing up, Imma face Draco Malfoy

I’m manning up, Imma hold my wand

I’ve had enough, now I’m so fed up

Time to put Malfoy in a coffin right now

It was my decision to get brave, I did it for me

Admittedly I probably did it subliminally for the DA

So I could come back a brave strong me, the DA helped see me through

And don’t even realise what they did, believe me they

I been through the ringer, but Malfoy can do little to me now

I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of

My World, haters can make me feel bad like Malfoy with no Crabbe, or Goyle

No more spell flingers, no more drama from now on, I promise


To focus solely on handling my responsibility’s as a student

So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof like my professors and raise it

You couldn’t lift a single shingle on it

Cause the way I feel, I’m strong enough to go to the DA

Or Umbridge’s office and lift the whole feather counter up

Cause I’m raising the bar, I shoot for the moon

But I’m too busy gazing at stars, I feel amazing and

(Chorus x2)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.7
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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 3   1
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 4   1
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