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Song Parodies -> "Don't "Sex Sell""

Original Song Title:

"Know Yourself"

Original Performer:

Drake

Parody Song Title:

"Don't "Sex Sell""

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2015 self-challenge. Sex sells, right? LIES.
Stop it, dude, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it
So sick of this, you see
Can't ignore it, jerk
Yeah, it goes on and on and it's total shit, man
And I don't want shit, y'know?
Don't think it's stoppin'
Yeah
Yeah

Sellin' stuff through sex is a joke
Isn't funny how much it still shows
It's unrea-eal, look wherever, man
You will find legs exposed
Splayed on that Ferrari, pretty girls
I'm sorry, not sorry, it don't work
Understand the sales-upboostin' purpose
But the trend's been recently reversin'
When people see T&A linin' the shelves
All that shit's now less likely to sell itself
Ladies think it's sexism, they're right on that
The fellas find it awkward, gotta explain that
Kinda hard to put down cash when the cashier thinks you're sad
Why not just Google your giant tits?
Instead of wastin' your cash on this
Most folks store boxes away, see
For their games, music or DVD's
They're focused on what's inside all of that crap, man
Too bad the content inside is somehow even more crass
Man, they get so shocked at the backlash
Because sellin' stuff through sex is a joke
Yeah

Should know sellin' stuff through sex is a joke
These days, a lot of folks
More than a lot of folks
In fact, I'd say most folks, sellin' stuff through sex is a joke
To them, why don't you know?
So many online posts
Mock your ads, cause they blow, holy crap, that logo looks way too vaginal, whoa
Looks really tacky, bro
Wall-to-wall leggy dames posed so diagonal
None of 'em stand out, just small waists and broken spines ev'rywhere, don't look too close
Yeah, those ladies ain't walkin' home
Way too top-heavy with feet that can't un-high-heel, just doesn't seem sexy, no
Yeah, I'm serious, pants won't blow
It's so unnatural, they'll need real patchin' up so they can stand right up, whoa
Not friggin' kiddin', I'm sick of the clothin' so scandalous
They're barely bikinis, back rides up quite furious, shocked nips aren't peakin' out, whoa
All of this comes off as des'prate attempts to appeal to the peasants
But av'rage consumers just see that their bias of "fanbase is pervy" is so
Wake up, dopes
Sellin' stuff through sex ain't right
Ain't right

Come on, sellin' stuff through sex is a joke
By now, I thought that you'd know
But it seems you still go
Flingin' round boobs like so, sellin' stuff through sex is a joke
All looks the same, you know
Homogeneous, 'fraid so
Want variance in prose, sellin' stuff through sex is a joke
Rollin' eyes like a pro

Sold out: that's what you'll never be
If you keep flingin' out ads with mammary glands all round
Don't know how it's gone past you, boss-type man
You ignorant dumbass
Never seen spikes in sales when you plastered
Panty shots ev'rywhere, man
You gave apologies, said you were sorry that we got offended, douche
And then you failed, it's true, to make changes to the things you do
It's the truth, how are you so stupid?
*Multiple facepalm noises*
You're a joke

Kinda hard to take your insert medium here seriously when the display case is a wall of butts. Figuratively and literally.

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Total Votes: 3

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User Comments

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Amanda - May 16, 2017 - Report this comment
Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

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