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Song Parodies -> "Five New Powers"

Original Song Title:

"Five More Hours"

Original Performer:

Deorro x Chris Brown

Parody Song Title:

"Five New Powers"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2015 self-challenge. Most superheroes only have two or three powers. This guy keeps getting more and more and more...
Anyone that needs savin', I'm the best hero
Because my genes are real crazy, the way my powers flow
Ability list keeps changin', 'bout ev'ry month, 'fraid so-o
It means no-one can take me, they don't know
What I can do because I'm so full o-of extra mutant jui-ui-ui-uice
Five new powers each month on the hou-our, so don't mess with me, du-u-u-ude

Ice and laser eyes have been added
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Five new powers, none have been subtracted
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Finger and toe claws have been added
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Five new powers have just now been granted
Five new powers, includes "instant sandwich"

That last one is real, buddy, doesn't really blow
When on missions, I get hungry, instant chip butties are go
Still, it can get a bit cruddy when new powers unfo-old
And they're things like "face like pu-utty", big jo-oke
Though with a little thou-ou-ought, those things can ro-ock, can still beat bad du-u-u-u-u-udes
Five new powers, test for a few hou-ours to find out what they do-o-o-o (testi-in', yeah-eah-eah-eah)

Stretchy limbs and flight have been granted (oh-oh)
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-eah)
Five new powers, they will keep on stacki-in'
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Rock skin and flame bursts have been granted (oh-ooh-ooh)
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh (those are skills I've been grante-ed)
Five new powers have, to me, been granted
Five new powers, includes "psychic pantsi-in'"

So fun, the pantsi-in'

Subject to the luck of the draw, see, sometimes all five gifts reek
Other times they're such a boost
I'll be fightin' ba-a-ad guys forever unless "live forever"'s
Not a power I accrue
Would sti-ink, yeah-eah

Lots of crazy shit has been added (oh-oh-oh)
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh (yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
Five new powers, don't know how I stand it
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
All this power could lead to madness
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Five new powers each month, it's still lastin'
Five new powers, hope I don't go batshit

It's kinda like Superman in the Silver Age, except with a distinct schedule instead of "the writers getting out of the corner they wrote themselves into by adding "super" in front of an action verb". Rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it?

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.3
How Funny: 2.3
Overall Rating: 2.3

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   1
 1
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