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Song Parodies -> "Brittle-Ass Curb"

Original Song Title:

"Little Bad Girl"

Original Performer:

David Guetta ft. Taio Cruz & Ludacris

Parody Song Title:

"Brittle-Ass Curb"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2011 self-challenge. This is why infrastructure is important, people.
You know what really sets me off, boy?
At a level way higher than "annoyed"
Ev'ry single day, the same damn thing occurs
Ass hits the dirt, makes me spew out slurs

Right down I go on the a-asphalt
Really pai-ainful, not my da-amn fault
Ev'ry groove in the si-idewalk
Catches on my shoe-oes, this slapstick is qui-uite stock
But I keep trippin'
Damn brittle-ass curb, brittle-ass curb
Damn brittle-ass curb, brittle-ass curb
Damn brittle-ass curb, brittle-ass curb
Damn brittle-ass curb, damn brittle-ass curb

My sidewalk looks like a crime scene, boy
All the times I've bled here, doesn't bring joy
Why must ev'ry repairman be such a jerk?
Blame my footwork, not their shitty work
Do they think that I'm not careful as shi-ite?
Movin' as slo-ow as a snail, but my pli-ight
Won't end, it's like my shoes are groove-seekers, no ji-ive
It's why I'm wearin' dentures though I'm just twenty-fi-ive, fi-ive

Straight down I go on the a-asphalt
Friggin' pai-ainful, ain't my da-amn fault
It's the shoes that are a-assholes
Though when I'm barefoo-oot, toes still find those da-amn holes
So I keep trippin'
Damn brittle-ass curb, brittle-ass curb
Damn brittle-ass curb, brittle-ass curb
Damn brittle-ass curb, brittle-ass curb
Damn brittle-ass curb, damn (it blows, yeah)

Sick of my poor head thumpin' upon the ground, my brain's thuddin', keep rubbin' all of the rubble off my knees (knees, knees, knees, knees, knees, knees, knees)
Think I've spent at least a hundred bucks on Band-Aids, geez (geez)
Trippin' and slippin', keep smackin' the frackin' ground, I'm grabbin' my nose to back the blood up, hope it stops (stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop)
What would be better is if those construction feckers stop the crap and do their damn job (job, job, job, job, job, job, job)
I keep goin', I can't be rollin' around when I've got people to be callin' (ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring)
Gotta find out if it's legal to cement my own path cause I'm sick of all the stallin' (hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint)
And maybe I'll reach my door with no more head blows (blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow)
Cause with ev'ry single thud, that's another I.Q. point that goes (go, go, go)

Damn, down I go on the a-asphalt
This is cra-azy, not my da-amn fault
It's those dudes who just wa-ave off
Me when they're asked to-o do what they're told, ha-ate slobs
So sick of trippin'
Damn brittle-ass curb, brittle-ass curb
Damn brittle-ass curb, brittle-ass curb
Damn brittle-ass curb, brittle-ass curb
Damn brittle-ass curb, damn brittle-ass curb
Damn brittle-ass cu-urb, brittle-ass curb
Damn brittle-ass curb, brittle-ass curb
Damn brittle-ass cu-urb, brittle-ass curb
Damn brittle-ass curb, damn brittle-ass curb

Ever since I had that bout of Guillain–Barré Syndrome five years ago, I've been particularly paranoid about wait haven't I already said this? Well, that was about slippery sidewalks, not broken ones. Totally different!

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Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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