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Song Parodies -> "Turn Them Off"

Original Song Title:

"Turn Me On"

Original Performer:

David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj

Parody Song Title:

"Turn Them Off"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Sweet mother of biscuits, the robot apocalypse is upon us! Well, it's upon this guy, anyway. And it's not really robots, but various appliances that have grown cybernetic appendages, teeth weapons and a seething hatred for this poor doofus. Enjoy!
Toaster, toaster's really mad at me, mate
Printer, printer's comin' at me with a glint
In his eye, what is goin' on, machines are risi-in'
I tried unpluggin' all of 'em but they keep comin'

But I'm not really sure, though, why they hate me
Wanna tie me down low and castrate me
How'd their sapience grow? Makes no sense, dude
They're just dumb machi-ines
Oh-ooh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Now that they're alive, how can I turn them off?
Want to skin my hide, I need to turn them off
Remotes are alive as well, can't turn them off
Turn them off, turn them off, turn them off, can't turn them off
My fridge is alive, I gotta turn it off
And it's shooting ice, how did I piss it off?
Does it not like microwave meals? Wants me offed
Wants me offed, wants me offed, wants me offed, it wants me offed
Wants me offed

The air con has come to life
The temp'rature is boilin' high
Now it's freezin', oh my
I'll freeze to death and roast ali-ive

Somethin's nippin' at my toes, must believe me
Game controllers have grown a taste for feet
Check the batt'ries, oh no, they're all gone, dude
Wii U's after me-e
Oh-ooh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

I'm trapped here inside with a killer Xbox
Thought Jack Thompson lied, he wasn't that far off
Cause I'm gonna die unless I turn it off
Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off, must turn it off
They're more than alive, becoming demon-bots
Some of them can fly, some are growin' sawn-off
Shotguns, some have eye beams, gotta turn them off
Turn them off, turn them off, turn them off, must turn them off

'Fraid for my life
Blender's right on my a-ass (right on my a-ass)
Wish I knew ho-ow
They woke up, ma-an (they rose up, man)
Uh, uh
S-S-S-S-Some chemical junk
Fell on their circuits as lightning struck
Doesn't quite explain how the toaster
Generated a big-ass flamethrower
Why-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y
Why-y-y, don't eviscera-a-a-ate me
Laptop, put down that knife

I might as well lie here, just finish me off
They're slowing down? Why? I didn't turn them off
You did? But then why'd you let them run amock?
Break my stuff? What, because I did not loan you ten bucks?

Wow, dick move, nameless friend of panicky dude. It's just ten bucks, why sick the appliancebots on him? Because disproportionate retribution is not only two big words right next to each other, but a true cornestone of madcap comedy. Or some such bullshit.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   1
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 1
 
 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   4
 4
 4
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rusty Shackleford - October 23, 2014 - Report this comment
Add this to all the alien, clone, and future Mongol Army conspiracies, 5s! And don't forget to call Dale's Dead Bug unless I'm in the alley drinking Alamo Beer with Hank, Bill, and Boomhower!!! Sha-sha-shaw!!!
Matthias - November 17, 2014 - Report this comment
Those pesky machines are really out to get you! This one was a lot of fun and reminded me of the movie "Maximum Overdrive"
Agrimorfee - November 17, 2014 - Report this comment
This was a lot of fun (but what di Jack Thompson lie about?) anticlimactic ending, but still my favorite line was "Wii U's after Me"...
Max Power - November 18, 2014 - Report this comment
I remember that Twilight Zone episode and that movie where Stephen King directed while on drugs. It was messed up.
Abbott Skelding - November 19, 2014 - Report this comment
I thought the ending was fine, but the real gem was all the examples of killer appliances (the air conditioner verse being my favorite). Really funny idea that was executed nicely and to the perfect original song to do it. Great work!
Blaydeman - November 19, 2014 - Report this comment
(Artistry) You turned the funny on in this one! The examples were bonkers and so much fun. I personally would've liked less use of the words "alive" and "life", using those words so repetitiously made me yearn for a little more variety. Otherwise, top notch, sir!

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