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Song Parodies -> "Tooth"

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The Lyrics

Losing your baby teeth is all part of the growing-up process...OR IS IT?!
Simply happens as you grow up a bit
Your face decides it needs a brand new set
Of molars, incisors and sharp canines
Process isn't hard, it just takes some time

The next step from teething for less younger ones
Results in all the bleeding from your bloody gums
Folks get tired of telling us to stop
Fiddling with the loose chompers, let them drop
My chompers? They've not dropped

Hard to believe it, I've not lost one tooth
Yet I'm old enough to vote, shit
Made it really hard to chew
The steaks I like, why are they stuck there?

Incisors aren't leaving, in my gums, they're stuck
Can deal with the bleeding, two weeks eating only mush
I'm really tired of the constant jaw drops
When I smile and they see the shrunken smile I own
I hate my shrunken smile, it blows

I don't want this
Need to solve this
With doorknob tricks

Walk into brick walls, then chew upon the bricks
Must fix my face by straight whacking it
Some say that I'm mad, should call my dentist
I don't trust that prick, didn't notice this
All these years, that prick, his "help", won't need it

Mouth needs better stuff to burst from these bloody gums
I'd like some peanut brittle, if only once
I'm so tired of the lack of real crunch
So I'm saying harsh things to provoke a hit
For once, I really want a hit

To resolve this
Utter horseshit
Use your whole fist

I was gonna make a joke that the Tooth Fairy was sleeping on the job, but then I remembered that she takes the teeth after they've fallen out, so she's off the hook. This time, anyway...

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Voting Results

Pacing: 1.0
How Funny: 1.0
Overall Rating: 1.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   0

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