-> "Bad Date"
Original Song Title:
Parody Song Title:
Where are the passionate, fit, single blokes?
I asked all my friends over brandy and cokes
They told me that I should go online
If I want to find a valentine
So I signed up to match dot com
And every man was a handsome young buck
I couldn’t believe my incredible luck
But now I know that these perfect guys
Embroider the truth, tell straight up lies
The first time I met up with one
‘Cause I had a bad date, a total letdown
He wasn’t Brad Pitt he was more Chubby Brown*
He told me “let’s eat, and can we go Dutch?
Do you like kebabs?” and I answered “not much”
He stared at my boobs, kept slapping my butt
And that’s when I knew, I could feel in my gut
This was a bad date
A really bad date
I knew he was not my ideal man
When he said he was a Star Wars fan
And showed up dressed as Obi-Wan…
A hellish bad date, that got worse from here
We went to the pub for some peanuts and beer
He said “I can’t wait to tell all my mates
I’ve finally pulled, do you shag on first dates?
I’ll sort it out babe, y’know what I mean?
Just lend me a quid for the condom machine…”
I hated this date
Oooh, damn straight…
I tried escaping out through the Ladies but the window was too small
Ran out the door and hid in the car park, had to get on my knees and crawl
Behind the wall…. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeaaahhh…
How long was he waiting in the pub on his own?
(“Where did she go…?”)
Did somebody say, or would he have just known…
That we’d had a bad date, it’s plain as can be
And though it was him he’ll believe it was me
I really don’t want the kind of surprise
You get when a man tries to false advertise
So no more bad dates with men on the ‘net
Because what you see aint what you get
You get a bad date
A really bad date
No more bad dates…
Bad, bad dates…
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|How Funny: ||5.0|
|Overall Rating: ||5.0|
|Total Votes: ||3|
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