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Song Parodies -> "Pop Charts"

Original Song Title:

"Rockstar"

Original Performer:

DaBaby ft. Roddy Ricch

Parody Song Title:

"Pop Charts"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Something to Believe In" self-challenge. The story of what I get up to every Tuesday evening outside of D&D: getting out of sorts about the Billboard charts!
Whoo-ooh-ooh, whoo-ooh
Load 'em up like
Come on, load up, Billboard, friggin' load up (oh-oh-oh-oh)
Come on, load up, just load up (whoo-ooh-ooh, refresh, I'm clickin')
Let's go

To think that it's pointless crap is not hard
But what is is tryna get my ass to stop (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'm a little bit obsessed with the pop charts (yeah-eah)
Who will be a star and who will not (whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh)?
A problem, to be honest, I'm a deets freak (whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh)
As well as yellin' at bad songs to leave, please (whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Gettin' so pissy at the screen, know I look nuts (whoo-ooh-ooh)
At least it's only once a week, the drop

I'm not sure that it's worth it if I have to be real honest (yeah, yeah, yeah)
When a great song drops out, my jaw's ready to start droppin' (yeah, yeah)
Thought it had great stream plays, that's lame, I rage about the lack of lovin' (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Such a pain that I can't help, in the wrong country to bump shit
Wade through the bottom half, pick a genre, country or trap or reggaeton, that's all (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Wouldn't be a problem if one loved all three, but I only have int'rest in the third one, that's balls (yeah, yeah)
So much feels like filler, trackin' each one wastes time but I can't simply not, it's a bummer (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Go 'head, call me crazy, it's all self-inflicted, so I'll just continue to be a big sucker (okay, let's go) (yeah, yeah)
But there's still a chance for joy, I'll just continue to be a big fool (yeah, yeah, yeah)
A shot that a few of the lower-half songs to be gems, which I think is really cool (boom) (yeah, yeah)
Know that I'll see them last for two weeks, sucks but at least they got there, it's true (yeah, yeah, yeah)
It feels like a tease, the short turn in the spotlight before they get summarily dropped, rude
By another album bomb or two
Never thought the age of streamin' would do this, it's true (yeah, yeah, yeah)
At least the meme tracks rarely get any sort of traction anymore, phew (yeah, yeah)
No more

Gettin' out of sorts from this is not hard
If you get pissy when the good singles flop (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'm a little bit obsessed with the pop charts (yeah-eah)
Who will break a record, who will not (whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh)?
A problem 'cause I'm honestly a deets freak (whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh)
See bad songs flyin' up, makes me yell "Please leave!" (whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Doesn't have real impact on me so I look nuts (whoo-ooh-ooh, yeah)
Ev'ry week when I'm stuck readin' the drop (yeah, yeah)

Just the one chart that I watch though it's a circus
All the genres fightin' out, multipurpose
I used the "pop" appellation in the chorus
The generic chart and the pop chart? Sep'rate nonsense
I don't know why, but I'm gon' drop back, yeah, yeah
'Cause the discussion on "pop" is divisive, yeah, yeah
When folks say "pop charts" they mean the standard one, man
I'm wastin' my time in semantics again
Let's shift to the power of the album drop, then
This is mostly what kills off all those graspin' hidden gems
Giant gain in streams, takes space new songs need
Album may be good, but it still makes me peeved
Only the singles that last, so what was the point? Hatin'
When a great song that was climbin', thought it would be their day
To hit the top 40, I'd hoped
But Drake dropped a project, now I just feel low (this blows)

To point out I'm rantin' now is not hard
Only a good hammer thwack would make me stop (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'm a little bit obsessed with the pop charts (yeah-eah)
Who keeps breakin' records, who should not (whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh)?
Not passive on this matter, I'm a deets freak (whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh)
40 weeks for this turd-pile? Lewis, please leave (whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Wait, shit, did I say that this happens only once (whoo-ooh-ooh)?
Forgot the Aussie charts, another drop

The only thing I missed was how this obsession is partly driven by my yearly United State of Pop parody nonsense, because the bigger a crap song charts, the likelier it is that I'll have to listen to it multiple times to parody it.

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