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Song Parodies -> "Mayo"

Original Song Title:

"Ayo"

Original Performer:

Chris Brown & Tyga

Parody Song Title:

"Mayo"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2015 self-challenge. Too much mayo? I love too much mayo!
That sweet goo
That sweet goo
That sweet goo
That sweet goo
That sweet goo
That sweet goo (gimme please)
That sweet goo
That sweet goo

I'm lovin' that ma-ayo
It's my fav'rite damn condiment to spread all around (that sweet goo)
Squeezin' that ma-ayo
Always keep a spa-are 'round, I don't wanna run right out (that sweet goo)
Cause I su-ure like ma-ayo
I'm not messin' with any of that tomato (that sweet goo)
I'm lovin' that ma-ayo, ma-ayo, ma-ayo
Why are you actin' like I'm wei-eird, du-ude (wei-eird, du-ude)?

Ha! Hey, mate, don't be crude, dick (dick)
All that I'm seein' is that my food's missin' (missin')
A great heapin' dollop of white fluid (prick)
See (see)? There's nothin' suggestive with it (with it) (gimme please)
It's okay that you lack any real taste
Just means more for me, great, no downside to see, mate (that sweet goo)
Whether it's a sandwich that's upon my plate
Or (or) fancy caviar, it needs real taste (real taste)
No points for guessin' what that might be
Take it easy? Never, cause that just wouldn't be me (that sweet goo)
All of my food needs mayo spread on heavy
A bevy of messy goo, bettin' you're jelly (that sweet goo, gimme please)
I'mma eat it (eat it) (that sweet goo), I'mma eat it (eat it)
It's not like it's just to get you freakin' (freakin') (that sweet goo, gimme please)
Ah, not a gross-out act (that sweet goo), it's the real thing (it's the real thing)
But still you're actin' like I'm weird, dude, cause I'm lovin' that

Ma-ayo (ah, yeah)
It's my only real sandwich fillin', throwin' jars out (that sweet goo)
Once full of ma-ayo
Emptied at least fi-ive now, still want more, scroungin' 'round (that sweet goo)
Cause I su-ure like ma-ayo
I'm a little obsessed with it, admit that, bro (that sweet goo)
Still lovin' that ma-ayo, ma-ayo, ma-ayo (still lovin' that)
Must you be actin' like I'm wei-eird, du-ude (wei-eird, du-ude)?

Don't squeeze my rolls, they'll burst out white (out white)
And don't you try to give me some shite (yeah)
Like barbecue sauce or that weird Thousand Eye
To me, they're all gross, mayo's all that's right (gimme please)
I'm well awa-are that I know nothin'
About what it's made of, think it could be eggs or somethin' (that sweet goo)
Who cares? It's mayonnaise, the only thing here that matters
Is what shall be the next food item that gets slathered, (oh-oh)?
I'm gonna dro-own a sausage, sausage
Then po-op in some meatballs, maybe (that sweet goo)
You may think tha-at I'm crazy, yeah-eah-eah
For takin' what's meant to be savoury-y-y (that sweet goo)
Then dunk in some choc'late (that sweet goo)
And a whole bunch of o-other desserts (that sweet goo)
It's disgustin'? That's nothin' (that sweet goo)
Drink it do-o-own with my coffee, right

Ma-ayo
Ev'ry food type will end up swimmin' in the goo now (that sweet goo)
Cause I like ma-ayo
You may think I'm ma-ad now, but I'm flippin' that around (that sweet goo)
Bet you so-o like ma-ayo
And you secretly guzzle it all down at home (that sweet goo)
You're lovin' that ma-ayo, ma-ayo, ma-ayo (huh, you're lovin' that, huh, alright)
'Splain's why you're actin' like I'm wei-eird, du-ude, yeah (wei-eird, du-ude)

How much do I ingest on av'rage each day (day)?
"Way too much"? Don't be stupid, can't exist, okay (uh, that sweet, sweet, sweet)?
Let's set the ballpark at around 20K (K)
And that's in litres, I don't use metric (that sweet goo)
Wait a, wait a minute, afraid I didn't quite catch that (catch that)
"If you get so jazzed, man, then just marry that, man (that sweet goo)"
Let's not be silly, man, I'm not that mad
Only wanna use it in ev'ryday tasks, man (that sweet goo, gimme please)
Use it for glue, seal up my wall cracks and then (that sweet goo)
Screw Blu-Tack, put up pictures once it's slathered with (uh, that sweet goo)
That one fluid so I'm always smellin' it (that sweet goo)
When it goes off, what happens? That comes later, right

Ma-ayo (ah, yeah)
Might just fill my pool up, go swimmin' with no clothes now (that sweet goo)
Cause I like ma-ayo (yeah)
I would take a ba-ath now in the stuff, must turn that down (that sweet goo)
Cause my bo-oss hates ma-ayo
And I need to keep money comin' in quick, so (that sweet goo)
I can buy more ma-ayo, ma-ayo, ma-ayo
And still you're actin' like I'm wei-eird, du-ude (wei-eird, du-ude)?

Yeah
You should try this (that sweet goo)
Thick spread sandwich, not awful, dude, ah
That sweet goo

Blu-Tack is that slate blue stuff you use to put posters up on the wall. Dunno what the general term for it is in America, but that's what I always call it. It's actually the brand-name, but it's kinda like Band-Aids in that way. This has been your Pointless Trivia of the day. You may now return to thinking about swimming in mayonnaise.

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