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Song Parodies -> "Stabbed on a Pike"

Original Song Title:

"That's What I Like"

Original Performer:

Bruno Mars

Parody Song Title:

"Stabbed on a Pike"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "How We Do It" self-challenge. The price for treason is high...
Ayy, ayy, ayy

I thought a little power-grabbin' would be worth some laughin' (we'll laugh)
Heads were all sent a-flyin', best send that white flag flappin' (flag flap)
Tried stoppin' our mad king, stop, stop that tyrant
He turned out to not be (not) such a twit, not, not bad fightin' (chah)
Needless to say, I lost quite badly (badly), this ain't like the Grammies (nope)
If you're not a winner (yeah), you don't sit and be clappy (no, you don't)
You're gonna be a model, gon', gonna be a model
"You don't wanna be this awful, he revolted so he bought it, wow"
Thought I could hack 'n' slash, make that gold crown mine, don it
But that kinda flopped, though it was in sight, botched it
Ev'rybody hates me, don't deserve it all
And this punishment I've accrued?

I get that I wasn't nice
Still seems a bit too much, right
What did they do? Stabbed on a pike, stabbed on a pike
Seem fair to you? Stabbed on a pike, stabbed on a pike
I would be fine with heads sliced
At least just prison for life
It just seems rude, stabbed on a pike, stabbed on a pike
Bit gory, too, stabbed on a pike, stabbed on a pike
Mmm-mmm

People look up at me, say "Neato (hey)!", do they know I'm real, though (hate this)?
They've got signs all framed up (brrrr) "Hurt will happen to those fools who raise up"
So they know that I got caught raidin' their big keep
To them, a pleasant sight to watch my ass bleed
Don't know how they stand it (oh), used to the smell of blood? Madness (eurgh)
Cause it could not make me greener (shade o' green) and I've made my own slashes
But it's true (it's the truth) that they've seen (they have seen)
Lots of blood (tons of blood), now it's from me, hate me
I tried to stab the back of the king, so I got it
They left me to rot, peace of mind's what I wanted
I deserve it, buddy, I deserve a stop
And not a death that's still in view

Still think I should keep my life
If they say no, that's alright
But it feels rude, stabbed on a pike, stabbed on a pike
A tad too crude, stabbed on a pike, stabbed on a pike
No more head? That'd be fine
A hail of arrows? Sounds nice
What did they do? Stabbed on a pike, stabbed on a pike
Sounds unfair, dude, stabbed on a pike, stabbed on a pike

Metal pointy thing in my spine
It isn't grand, buddy, isn't grand, buddy
Join with me, join with me, join with me (joinin' is easy)
All you need is one small crime (one little crime)
Steal an orange or just high treason
This pain can be in you
Little crazy, it's a little crazy
You can't doubt the truth

And now you understand why (that this was why I fight)
I risked this pain for your lives (all for your lives)
Cause this is rude, stabbed on a pike (stabbed on a pike, pain), stabbed on a pike
Gory and crude, stabbed on a pike (oh), stabbed on a pike (oh)
And don't think gravity's nice (no way in hell that it's nice)
It's takin' it's sweet-ass time (long time)
Afraid it's true, stabbed on a pike (stabbed on a pike, pain), stabbed on a pike
I'm stuck here, dude, stabbed on a pike (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh), stabbed on a pike (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)

Why DO I like like parodies about blasé reactions to hideous pain so much?

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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

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