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Song Parodies -> "Pressure"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Bruno Mars

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2013 self-challenge. It's not exactly fun being stuck under a bajillion ton weight, but whatcha gonna do, really?
Great external crushin' down is quite a bummer

Gimme a, gimme a, gimme a hand here, buddy (a hand here, buddy)
There's this minuscule issue involvin' my failin' health (health, health)
It could just be nothin', ooh, but if you could study (could you study)
This huge pile of rocks here that's been weighin' down on myself (self, self)
I don't know if you know this, my pain's high, so hi-igh
High, so hi-igh, oh-whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh
It hurts, so could you get the rocks to rise, oh, ri-ise
Rise, oh ri-ise

Tearin' me apa-art
Though at least I've got free arms
And so I can ma-ake a tweet or two-o
Might relieve this pressure, dude
Help relieve this pressure, du-u-u-ude

Kinda hurts, kinda hurts, kinda hurts, I should stop whinin' (I should stop whinin')
Can't waste that air, I kinda need it, true (true, true)
I cannot fee-eel my legs, now my jea-eans
Are ruined, that's crap, they were my fav'rite pair, too (too, too)
It may seem fairly hopeless, but it's fine, real fi-ine
Fine, real fi-ine, oh-whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh
Still hurts, but I can't do much else but lie here, ri-ight
Lie here, ri-ight

Wouldn't be too ha-ard
To lift those rocks off my parts
No fan of the pai-ain, obvious tru-uth
Could you end this pressure, dude?
Come on, end this pressure, du-u-u-ude

I may seem pleasant, if I start stressi-in'
'Twould increase pressure, so move, move, move you-our arse
I hate this pressure, ain't a fun pressu-ure
Relieve this pressure, are you, you a hu-uge arse?

Pressure (relieve this pressure)
Sure, I may seem ca-alm (I hate this pressu-ure, this ain't real leisure)
But you're givin' me such qualms (you huge, huge, huge, hu-uge arse, relieve this pressure)
You're standin' in pla-ace like a big dou-ouche (don't want this pressu-ure, stuck here forever)
What the hell'd I ever do (if you don't move you-our arse and nix this pressure)
To deserve this pressure, du-u-u-ude (this bloody pressu-ure)?

I could swear I've written something along these lines before, but with a punchline revealing that the reason the dude-in-peril's friend refuses to help is because dude-in-peril owes them money. Can't find remember what it was a parody of, though, nor what the title was. Hopefully my faulty memory means it's been long enough since said parody that I can get away with unintentionally (I was two-thirds through writing when I realised this) repeating myself.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   2

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