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Song Parodies -> "Bad Aim"

Original Song Title:

"Grenade"

Original Performer:

Bruno Mars

Parody Song Title:

"Bad Aim"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "World Go Boom" self-challenge. Originally this was gonna be called "Sex Change", but a) I doubted my ability to come up with enough material for it and b) it might have been massively insensitive. Who to, I'm not sure, gender and sexuality issues set off everyone's buttons. So instead, have a parody about a guy with the world's worst aim. Enjoy!
Can't use guns, can't use bows
I can't aim for shit, oh
Miss, miss, miss them all
No, I never hit
I shoot like a Stormtrooper
And when I piss
Always miss the toilet
The floor, I soil it
Ooh

Blame my shaky hands
Well, I got them from my dad
Inherently, they're bad, you see
So don't hand me a gun
Might shoot you in the ass
It's not hard to understand
See

I've just got bad aim, oh yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Crap at the shooting range, oh yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)
No person near me is safe, oh yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I really doubt it will change, oh yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh-ooh oh
No, I can't shoot worth a darn
Can't hit the broad side of a barn
I would try to hit the targets
But I might hit your arse

Oh, no no no-oh-oh-oh

I can't, I can't shoot
Don't trust me with guns
Think I popped your tire, hope you've got a spare one in the trunk
Hands shakin', hands quakin'
That's just how they are
No surprise if that shot somehow ends up in your arse

Blame my twitchin' hands
Even when I'm throwin' trash
I always miss the can, yes I do
My aim is always off
At archery, I'm crap
That's both the left and right hands
Yeah

I've really bad aim, oh yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Don't act like this is strange, oh yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)
You see my t-shirt has stains, oh yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I can't eat right, I'm that lame, oh yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh-ooh oh
Always miss the target frame
Even if it's big as a plane
So don't give me a gun, buddy
Cause I might shoot your face

If there was something on fire
Ooh, don't let me handle the flames
The hose won't douse it, 'twill get wilder
Cause I'll never, ever, ever hit buddy

Cause buddy, I've got really bad aim, oh yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)
My bullets ricochet, oh yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'm crap at video games, oh yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Old school or current, I'm lame, oh yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
All these years, it's been the same
If you trust me, you must lack brains
Then if you get shot here, buddy
It will be you to blame

I warned you 'bout my aim
And how it's really lame
Ooh, it will be you to blame
Oh, no no no-oh-oh-oh
I do have shaky hands, but it has yet to affect my video game abilities. My typing, on the other hand, has taken a toll for the worse.

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How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

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